SQUARES in HIPPIEVILLE

First Tee

2012-01-03T17:34:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

Melissa Dearest gave me the gift of golf for Christmas -- a pre-paid gift card at a local golf course. I've always favored this particular golf course for its covered driving range -- it's pretty nice.

After finishing work this afternoon, I invited Karsten and Taegan to join me on the range. They eagerly accepted and grabbed Karst's clubs. He only has two -- but that technically still qualifies as "clubs." Taeg' had never swung a golf club at an actual golf ball before -- so she was particularly excited.

Our excitement turned to disappointment, however, upon pulling into the empty clubhouse parking lot and seeing a sign announcing that the whole facility was closed for the holidays. Argh!

Undeterred, I drove a short distance to a sporting goods store and purchased a dozen plastic wiffle-style golf balls. My dad gave me similar equipment when I was just starting out in the game as a youngster. They don't go very far no matter how hard you hit them -- so they're easy to retrieve. Plus, it's almost impossible to cause bodily harm or property damage with an errant shot.

When we pulled into the driveway, we grabbed our clubs and made our way directly to the back yard. I made some rudimentary tee boxes with some orange cones and directed everyone's line of fire toward our large earthen hillside. I provided some quick instruction and then invited them to swing away.

Langy joined us after awakening from his afternoon nap. This created a problem, since we had only two kid-sized golf clubs for three kid-sized golfers. Taeg' waited patiently for her turn. Langy, on the other hand, needs to listen to The Sharing Song (push to listen) a few hundred more times. The concept still eludes him.

Taeg' ultimately got some good shots off, hopefully she'll keep practicing. Karsten has been golfing before, but his swing showed a lot of rust. It probably didn't help that he's grown about a foot since he was fitted for clubs. Taeg' stands to inherit his sticks very soon.

I'm looking forward to getting all of these guys out on the course someday soon.

Because someone might care

2011-12-06T13:14:00.000-08:00

This is for my sister that lives in a totally different country, called OHIO. She and her family were the last people to use our guest bathroom before we gutted it. I am sure they will be sad about some of the changes that we have made, but change is good. Here are a few:

Upon entry of this bathroom you were greeted with a fabulous vanity with a teal counter top with doors that were crooked and a storage mirror thingy above the sink.

The original shower was sandwiched between the vanity and the toilet. It had white tile with a strange pattern, with a glorious glass door with steel bits that were corroding. The floor was fiberglass and stainy. The shower head leaked and the mixing valve was cracked soooo... you either had very hot shower or cold one. Very relaxing, I know.

On the other side of the shower was the toilet. It was a pretty large area for the toilet but it had no light at all.

Here is a view from the doorway. I forgot to mention the ceiling fan/heat lamp/light that was so loud it started to scare our kids to turn it on or that awesome storage unit at the end that didn't close properly or the hollow core door that would scrape the heat vent when you tried to close the door for some privacy.

That bathroom rocked! Why would we change it at all? I like change, even if it means removing a lovely gold and yellow linoleum floor and Travis just likes chaos and dirt. This bathroom was first on our list of bathroom remodels. We knew it would be the most time consuming, it might cost the most, and it was the guest bath so it would be good practice and we would need a completed bathroom to use for when we remodeled the master bath. We had some ideas in our head, we had a lot of tile in our garage and I was pretty sure that I could do it for around a grand. So I tore it apart.

This was by far the easiest part of the project, but after I opened it all up we knew that we couldn't keep that layout. It was a waste of space, but I wasn't sure what the cost would be to swap the location of the shower and toilet until I knew what was under the floor and if we could do it ourselves so we rented a jack hammer.

Once it was opened up and we spoke with some pros. We knew it was doable but the budget needed to increase. Our shower size was more than doubling and electrical was being moved etc. I simply pulled a number out of the air and called it our budget, $3,000. I knew the most expensive things were going to be the fixtures and the vanity. We shopped around and purchased everything first, so I would know how much was left in the budget for any tools and materials. We found some rock'n deals! It was a long few months. I seriously had never tiled ANYTHING before. I had seen it done before, talked to some pros and rookies, and had watched enough online tutorials that I felt like I could figure it out. So I dove in.

It looked like this at the beginning of Oct and I am sure Travis' parents thought I would never finish. I was starting to question it myself, I also knew we wanted it done right and with three kids, the bathroom was not my highest priority.

I woke up this morning thinking about other things in our house that needed serious attention, I guess that means the bathroom is officially out of my mind. Well not out of mind completely because I did go downstairs to use the bathroom just so I could put my feet on the warm floor. Here are a few pictures of the finished product. And a few descriptions of what we did.

We had the ceramic tile (we bought this from my parents over 3 years ago when my Mom changed her mind about her bathroom tile) so we just purchased the glass accent tile. We did two horizontal borders of this around the shower, in the back of the shower cubbies and on the ceiling.

We chose oil rubbed bronze fixtures.

NOTE: Brailee, when you turn the shower handle to warm now, warm water actually comes out of the shower-head. I know you will miss that unpredictability from the previous shower, but it is better trust me.

We also had a bunch of random river rock that I scored from my dad from a few remodels that he has completed over the years. We put this on the shower floor.

And most importantly we heated the ENTIRE floor, yes, even in the shower. Cold tile is for weirdos that have never tried it. I woke up to 27 degree temperatures this morning, I love the heated floor.

We found this vanity for a steal. I was originally going to make one, but we found this vanity, granite top, sink and mirror for less than the price I could build one. Thank you discontinued pricing.

Travis found some towels and the perfect picture. We are a bit partial to photos taken of the northwest, this is the McKenzie River.

The walls look like a different color in each picture but they are stardust from Benjamin Moore.

Ta-da!

My favorite parts of the bathroom are the little things: fan timer, towel hooks, soft close lid on the toilet, and painted door hinges and stop to match the ORB fixtures. It is the little things people... seriously, how many times do I walk into our bathrooms and find the towels on the floor, the fan on when it should be off or off when it really needs to be on. I love how the tiled shower ceiling flows seamlessly into the sheet rock texture.

We only hired out one project, re-texturing the ceiling and walls. I was TIRED and worried that it would take me at least 3 full Saturdays to texture. That would make this project extend out another month and I was not confident in my skill level at all. Vern is my new best friend. He gave us a cash deal that was half the cost of the other guys. He was in my bathroom for 2 days and he did a fabulous job and has more skills then I could ever dream of. Otherwise, we did this all ourselves.

We went over budget by $504.27. I could have saved over $200 if I hadn't crashed the rental trailer and $275 if I didn't hire Vern. But for a budget # that I pulled out of thin air, I am pretty happy. Especially when I look at the quote that I got from a tile guy that was going to do the original shower. He wanted $3,500 to tile the shower and floor and I already owned the tile people, no fixtures, no plumbing, no heated floor. WHATEVER! I am pretty sure this bathroom would have cost us at least $15k to hire out. It is not perfect, but we are happy. There are a few things I would do differently, but we are DIYers so I guess we are learning as we go.

One down two to go. But I think I will take a break from the bathrooms until the new year. We have a cook-top that needs to be installed and pans that need to be purchased.

Happy Thanksgiving to me!

2011-11-22T21:53:00.000-08:00

Remember my bathroom? Don't pretend you don't.

It looked like this in July!

Like this in August!

Like this in September!

Our kids looked like this in Oct!

Now the bathroom looks like this!

I am done. Yeah. I can enjoy my turkey without thinking about what I should be doing in the bathroom!

Now it is up to Travis to find towels, pictures, and other accessories to make it look all bathroomie. Until then, I will shower in it using my towel from high school or maybe I will just roll around on the floor and let the radiant heat dry me off.

Happy Thanksgiving.

p.s. will someone come over here and clean off my camera lens, please?! I will let you use my new toilet.

The Happiest @*#&! Place On Earth

2011-10-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, our family returned from an alternate universe called Disneyland. I can sense your knowing smile coming right through the interwebs. Yes, everyone's been to The Magic Kingdom before. Everyone, that is, other than our family, a handful of Amish, and a solitary Kalahari bushman who cannot overcome his fear of flying.

We figured we should finally get down there and see what all the fuss is about. Take heart Kalahari bushman, we drove the whole way!

We invited my parents to come along for the fun. We figured that in the event Melis' and I were both somehow incapacitated, kidnapped, or arrested -- our precious children would still have access to a nice SUV to watch DVD's in air conditioned comfort.

After all, we are very conscientious about our children's safety and well-being.

We didn't stay in one of the Disney Resort hotels. We figured we could save a few bucks by staying at a hotel across the street from the park's main gate. Sure, our rooms had all the charm of a run-down college dormitory -- but after paying for the rooms, the California sales and hotel taxes, and some other vaguely-named fees, we saved nearly enough to buy a small bottle of water in Tomorrow Land. We are money managing geniuses!

Notwithstanding our (ahem) posh accommodations and a free continental breakfast that consisted of DIY toast, we decided to check out a couple days early. More on that later...

In the months and weeks leading up to our trip, we did a lot of online research to educate ourselves about visiting Disneyland. For instance, we chose to arrive mid-week in October post-Columbus day. Our research suggested that the park would be less-crowded and the weather would be mild. We still waited in line about 20-45 minutes for most rides -- and it was 104 degrees on our second day in the park!

I don't know what we're looking at here, but judging by the child-like wonderment on our faces -- it must have been awesome! Quick fact: Melis' and I took ZERO pictures during the whole week. Thanks Grandma Shirlene for the photography...and for mailing us back our completely-forgotten camera we left in your vehicle.

Langy failed to meet the height requirement for some of the rides, but his grandparents selflessly volunteered to hang out with him whenever we came upon some serene climate-controlled area of the park. As you can tell, Langy was sad to miss the half-hour wait in triple-digit heat just to ride Dumbo for a couple minutes. Well, I'm sure he was sad on the inside.

Karsten and I spent some quality time with Mickey. He didn't say anything during our brief visit, but I could tell he was glad to see us. He was smiling the whole time.

Grandpa Dave taught Taeg' how to fly a spaceship. Note the man's warm smile, calm hand, and relaxed encouragement. While none of these were present when he taught me how to drive over 20 years ago, his granddaughter appreciated them very much.

As soon as our two-day Disneyland adventure was completed, we checked out of our convenient-but-dumpy hotel and drove a few miles south to Huntington Beach. The Hyatt Regency was nothing like my freshman dorm...

...this was better.

After settling into our new digs, Taeg' and her grandmother decided to take advantage of the resort's heated pools and water slides. They even swapped bathing suits before realizing they had grossly misjudged their size difference. They switched back and proceeded to the pool together.

The hotel gave us fancy terry cloth robes to lounge around in. In heaven, I think we'll all be wearing these around.

I've waded into the Pacific along the Oregon coast since I was a young boy -- it's generally a bone-chillingly cold endeavor that can only be tolerated for a few minutes at a time. How strange it was to walk into waist-deep water and be completely comfortable. I hesitate to admit this, but I even took my shirt off [Apologies for the disturbing mental image, especially to those who were eating while reading this]. We played in the ocean for a couple hours without any loss of lower extremity sensation. There was even a school of dolphins playing happily about 50 feet away from us. Karst' summed up the whole experience: "This beach is better than ours."

We enjoyed our week in southern California very much, but we're happy to be back home. October is not supposed to be 90 degrees, and a small soda is not supposed to cost $6.50. Life is back to normal and everything is as it should be. Cold and overcast with no fluffy terry cloth robes. Hmmm...

Maybe we'll visit the alternate universe again sometime.

About Time

2011-10-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

Travis Update:

Trav' got a shiny new diesel car in September and thank goodness. I was tired of being chauffeur for over a year. We are very grateful for the 2nd ride. I just need to convince Langdon and Travis to accept a little Zen attitude like Charlie Crews and repeat "I am not attached to this car" frequently. Langdon constantly goes over to the window to look for his Dad's car and ask for a ride.

Langdon Update:

When Langy is not asking for a ride he was climbing out of his crib. We thought it was time to "Release The Kraken" and turn it into a toddler bed. Now, no one gets sleep. We probably should have just put a plexi-glass top on the crib instead.

Lack of sleep must stimulate some part of the brain, because he has been talking up a storm lately.

Taegan Update:

Taegy turned 5. She is still getting used to that number because if you ask her how old she is there is a long pause... then small whispers of "1, 2, 3, 4, 5. . . ." then a shout ". . .I am 5!"

She wanted a piñata for her birthday. Everyone loved beating it until it released all the candy. We sure do enjoy being around her, despite the threatening look with her bat and piñata.

Karsten Update:

Karsten has started 1st grade and is liking it better everyday. He has three different teachers but I am the one getting used to who is teaching what and when. His school just had their annual fun run. He ran 2 more laps than last year totaling 15 during the hour. If he keeps up that pace, there is no way I will be running with him in 5th grade.

Melissa Update:

Are you still reading this? Seriously, you need to get a hobby. I have been continuing to put our downstairs bathroom back together. My first goal was to finish before school started, then it was to finish last weekend, now my goal is to finish. I think that is a realistic goal considering that I have never worked on it more than 2 hours straight ever. I have never tiled anything before, nothing like diving in head first.

In my spare time, 5:30am, I have been going to a Tabatas class. Last week, the instructor informed us that he will no longer be including rest times like push-ups and sit-ups but instead focusing on whole body movements that will focus on those muscles. I thought I was done puking before/after this class. Nope. Some guy came over to me after Friday's class and asked if I was OK. It took me a while to realize that he was talking to me and was indeed speaking a language that I should understand. I just let out a groan and waved my hand motioning him to go away. I have never missed doing push-ups until now.

We are so ready to go to Disneyland.

It's our blogiversary!

2011-08-09T17:19:00.000-07:00

Three years ago this week, Melis' noticed I was on the computer and told me matter-of-factly, "I think I want a blog. Make it happen."

Within an hour or two, I turned out our very first post. Pretty profound stuff, I know.

Just for fun, I decided to pull up our old blog title headers.

2008

No, we were not graduating from mime school in 2008 or emerging from a subterranean cavern for the first time in years. For some reason we were just really white.

2009

Here's a helpful tip: if you want to de-emphasize your family's pasty whiteness, don't invite a pumpkin to sit in on your photoshoot.

2010

2010 marked Langy's arrival into the world...and the internet. I've always enjoyed this picture because of glamorous Taegan -- who holds the remains of a daisy she had eaten just moments earlier. Flower child indeed.

People who logged on to our site on the evening of the 2010 BCS Championship game may have noticed a special appearance from a close personal friend. I have a feeling we'll be seeing Puddles on the blog again sometime in January 2012...and maybe even my facial hair too.

Congratulations on 3 years, Melis' -- I'd get you some flowers, but you-know-who would just eat them.

helpers

2011-08-04T14:26:00.000-07:00

This past weekend... or is it... this last weekend. Anyway. This last past weekend, we were in Pendleton. For some reason we stay in Pendleton less than 48 hours. Maybe we fear that we will start wearing wranglers if we stay too long.
On Saturday, Travis attended his Uncle Wally's funeral, I got to hang with his Grandma Lorene and our kids kicked it with Grandpa Wood and Chris.

About an hour into my babysitting, I realized that I should have had Shirlene write a to do list, because I was starting to fall asleep on the job. I eventually found some ants to track, they led me to the Ding Dongs on the fridge. I love to babysit.

Karsten, Taegan and Langdon didn't find any Ding Dongs at Grandpa's but they quickly realized that Chris would let them go fishing in the pond that was stocked with 3 (probably very traumatized) Goldfish.

They eventually moved onto the horses and cows. Aaahhh... life on the ghetto farm!

The past last few weeks I have been slowly working on the bathroom. My Dad told me to take my time and not be in a hurry so it gets done right. With these three bathroom attendants no one can be in a hurry to do much.

They are fun to hang with and I am glad no one has been injured yet! The drains and supply lines have all been changed and re-routed. Hopefully, I can find some time to pour concrete back in the holes and start on a shower pan.

Travis has been working on a project of his own. He ordered all the stuff and made it all fit into a little black box. It looked more difficult than re-wiring the bathroom.

GOOD BYE, TiVo! you suck!

Hello, HTPC!!!

I don't get very excited about TV. I can't even think of a TV show right now. But I do know that there are no fees, no crap, no annoying software, no rate increases, no customer service. If we want something changed,Travis finds a way to do it. It is kid friendly, Karst' and Taeg' can use it. It knew it was shark week and that everyone in this family would want to see all 74 shows of sharks eating crap. Who knew that my 4 year old would like to watch a shark show. All of our movies have been ripped to the hard drive so I will never have to pick up a DVD off the floor again. It is neatly tucked into our entertainment center so nobody would even know it is there. Best of all, Travis loves to tinker so that means I have to do NOTHING, but pour concrete in the bathroom! yay me!

Seven

2011-07-20T20:38:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Karst'!

We love ya.

Relationships

2011-07-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

Over the 4th of July weekend we had a family reunion with my side of the family tree. It was awesome. It was in Sun River. It was warm. I took NO pictures. I am lame.

Kim's family came back to Eugene with us for a couple of days. They caught a flight at the crack of dawn. It was fun. It was awesome. I am fatter because of them. I did take one picture of them playing the Wii. I am lame.

I am not sure who is doing the correct dance moves, but I am guessing Langdon or Jace.

Travis and I have come to an understanding. Maybe I have come to the understanding that Travis tries to ignore what goes on around him, unless I ask him to pay attention! Either way that makes for a great relationship when it comes to me.

The day after our guests left. Travis went back to work and I did this.

We have 3 bathrooms and they all need a major overhaul. I wanted to start on the downstairs. It needed the most work and we have tile sitting in the garage. Here is what it looked liked before.

I know what your think'n. "What is wrong with the teal countertop and backsplash?" "The toilet is tucked perfectly in the dark corner with no lighting."

Travis and I decided to swap the place of the toilet and shower. The shower will be walk-in and the toilet will now have light. After gutting most of it and scrapping vinyl flooring with a 1" chisel.

Seriously, people. We can send people to the moon, but there is not an easier way to remove the adhesive from vinyl. Where are our priorities? I am pretty sure that will be my most suckiest job in this process. Because that is still backing on the floor in the picture above. I had to boil water and scrap it all again the next day.

Anyway, as I was dropping Travis off at work I mentioned that I wanted to jack hammer the concrete. I usually feel a need to let him know when I am planing something dangerous. I am not sure why, maybe I secretly hope that he will think about me and call home so Karsten will answer and let him know that my arm has been severely damaged but that he threw it in a bucket of ice and drove me to the hospital. That would be the farthest thing from the truth. Langdon would sense something wrong, but Karsten and Taeg would continue eating Popsicles in the backyard until midnight. Travis asked if that was safe for the kids. I assured him that I wouldn't let them use the tool. As he kissed me goodbye, he said "just remember the 60# hammer will start to feel like 100# before you are done." Four hours later...

I had rented a jack hammer and broke up the concrete and returned it. Travis did call to check on me. I love that guy, plus he was right, I could barely lift the jack hammer to load it in the truck after only 4 hours. Now I just need to dig up all that gravel and re-route some plumbing. Taeg' asked if we can go swimming. I think I will take her up on that. My arms are still vibrating.

Lazy Days of Summer

2011-07-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

While we hadn't actually planned it -- we took a whole month off from blogging. It's not that we haven't been up to anything -- I built a new home theater PC to replace our Tivo in the AV cabinet (recording two TV shows at the same time just wasn't enough -- we must record four shows at once!) and Melis' built some more fencing before gearing up for the first of three bathroom remodels. The kids have been enjoying the warmer weather.

Eventually we'll return to our normal blogging schedule -- but for now we invite you to look at the excellent sports photography presented by Teresa's Neighbor.

Gleneden Beach

2011-05-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

It seems like just a few weeks ago, we were taking Langdon on his first visit to the Oregon Coast. This month we rejoined the rest of the Stoddard clan at Gleneden Beach (south of Lincoln City) to play in the surf and remind ourselves that our little stretch of the Pacific is friggin' freezing!

Lang' arrived on the scene ready for some serious beach renovation. He worked his little plastic shovel until it broke. Undeterred, he resumed excavation with his bare hands. He must have filled his little green bucket a few hundred times...until it broke too. I don't know what real construction workers do upon discovering they've broken all their equipment -- but Lang' decided it was time for S'mores. That seemed to make everything all better.

"I tell you what guys, this is the good life."

After the comfort food, we all took a stroll on the beach and watched the sun slowly sink below the horizon.

Taegan always gets her money's worth on our beach excursions -- in fact, she usually brings a significant portion of the beach home with her.

Prospecting

It's dirty work, but it's not without its rewards...

clam parts

crab parts

Karsten led an expedition of young cousins and siblings to a canyon carved into the beach sand by a small fresh-water stream.

The treacherous descent

Success!

Armed only with a hilarious disregard for his own personal safety, cousin Luke assumed a Pete Rose head-first slide down the canyon wall. He repeated the maneuver several times to prove that he was, in fact, a crazy person.

The voyage of discovery completed, Karst' helped extricate his fellow explorer, cousin Tatum. Upon regaining his footing and shaking the sand from his clothes, three-year old Tate turned to Karst' and offered his trademark show of gratitude, "Thanks, hun."

At the end of the week, Taeg' asked me if we could just move to the beach permanantly. I'm reasonably certain her brothers shared her sentiment. I appreciate my parents' willingness to go to the trouble and expense of organizing our annual beach reunion -- which included this "modest" little rental house...

The sauna and in-house movie theater were a nice touch. Maybe next year we can spring for a new plastic shovel and bucket for Lang'. I'm grateful to live in such a beautiful corner of the world and have some wonderful (and highly entertaining) people to share it with. Thanks for the photos too, Mom.

Oh, these guys were with us too -- they just missed the 10am wake-up call for our photo shoot. Since baby Lane's arrival, they wake up every few hours during the night just so they can party some more. Good times.

We're looking forward to next year.

Epic Saturday

2011-04-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

Friday evening Melissa proposed that we take Langdon on his first ascent of Spencer Butte. She's always the one who proposes outdoorsy, physically demanding stuff. I generally propose weekend activities like, "Let's see who can take the longest nap!" The kids love hiking Spencer, even though Karst' remarked it would take us "a few days" to reach the top. Hopefully, that was just a conservative estimate. It only took us 45 minutes.

We arrived at the trailhead just before 9am

Taeg' pointed out several "good climbing trees" -- which she apparently defines as any tree taller than herself. She was able to quickly scale this one with her elder brother.

Langy stayed above it all in relative warmth and comfort. When his father lingered in one spot on the trail for too long (gasping for air), Lang' would call out "uuuah?!" -- which being interpreted means "What's the hold-up, Old Man?"

Return of the Flexing Fir!

Ultimately, we all made it to the top safely. We took three separate auto-timed photographs with the camera carefully balanced on a nearby boulder. On each attempt, I'd click the shutter button and then scramble over the jagged rocks to my perch between the boys. I had less than 10 seconds. Langy apparently found my frantic 20-foot sprint more interesting than the blinky auto-timer light. He's looking in the same direction in all three shots -- perhaps anticipating some more amazingly athletic moves.

Someday, Langy may look at this photo and observe, "I look so fresh and relaxed -- why does Dad look all haggard and stinkified?" The answer, my son, is that I carried you up the mountain...and you were very heavy.

The descent was much quicker than the ascent. We got home, got de-stinkified, and put on our Duck gear. We were off to Autzen Stadium to watch Oregon's annual Spring Football game. The price of admission was three cans of food for a local charity. Last year, 25,000 fans attended the team's scrimmage. This year, 43,000 people showed up(!) Brent Musburger even came to town to call the game for ESPN. I guess that means the Ducks are kind of a big deal.

We found a sparsely populated corner of the stadium that allowed Lang to wander around in search of unclaimed nachos. The kids had never seen the inside of the stadium before -- they came away very impressed.

Great seats, huh. LaMichael is the little green speck being chased by several slower white specks. They never caught him. It was awesome.

We thought the day's activities would tire the kids out, but alas, only Melis' and I are feeling fatigued. The kids are still bouncing off the walls like Energizer Bunnies on cocaine.

Next Saturday, I propose we go with my competitive napping idea.

whatta you got

2011-04-27T15:43:00.000-07:00

I've got a friend (now, don't be acting all surprised...) that lets me build crap for her house. This was her latest request.

She wanted a built-in look for her 75 mile wide TV. Seriously, the front of this cabinet is over 6.5 feet wide (how do you support the top of a big open shelf that size??!). When I finished it in the garage, I thought I had miscalculated something, because WHO HAS A TV THIS BIG?. But once it was installed and we went to put the TV on top I was worried that I didn't build it big enough. She painted it and sent me a cell pic.

Looks proportional now.

I also built this bench for an old lady that has made Trifle the last few times we have visited.

I love Trifle.

Don't be jealous of my photog skilz. It is not easy to make a beautiful piece of cedar look crappy.

Inspirational thought of the day

2011-04-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesty of Teresa's Neighbor

I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.

2011-03-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

Reading the Oregonian this morning, there was a blurb about tomorrow being the six-year anniversary of the death of comedian Mitch Hedberg. Years before succumbing to a drug overdose, he joked: "I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too." Some of Mitch's material is not appropriate for a family blog like this, but he had a gift for making hilarious observations about everyday life.

A lot of times, I'll drive for like 10 miles with the emergency brake. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it really doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake.

My college roommates and I enjoyed watching his comedy specials on TV. We'd laugh until tears ran from our eyes. He had a unique way of delivering his one-liners -- it was difficult to tell if he was an eccentric hipster or just really high. Of course, it's entirely possible he was both. Check out his appearance on David Letterman several years ago.

If you go to the grocery store and stand in front of the lunch meat section for too long, you start to get p***ed off at turkeys. You see turkey ham, turkey pastrami, turkey bologna -- somebody needs to tell the turkeys, "Man, just be yourself."

I still think of that joke every time I'm in the deli aisle. Here's one that comes to mind whenever I put on a turtleneck sweater:

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Here's a few more of my favorite Mitch quotes:

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.

***

I got a king sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable. "Oh, you're a king, you say? Well you won't believe what I have in store for you! It's to your exact specifications! I believe I can set up your lady friend, too!"

***

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

***

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

***

I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number, something that's real easy to remember. Something like two two two two two two two two. I would say "Sweet." And then people would say, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'd say, "Just press two for a while. And when I answer, you will know you have pressed two enough."

***

I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.

Spring weather! (For a limited time only)

2011-03-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

Lately, the weather forecast in Eugene has been a total cut-and-paste affair.

Don't get too excited about that happy little cloud next to Sunday -- experience tells us that it will soon turn to a sad rainy icon within the next couple days. Good thing Vitamin E is available in pill form!

We've become accustomed to the dreary gray skies of a Willamette Valley winter. We're acclimated to the daytime temps that are high enough to prevent (super-fun) snow, but still too low to dry out the cold muddy ground under our feet. That's why yesterday was so awesome. And by awesome, I mean totally sweet!

For the first time in weeks, the sun remained unencumbered by clouds for several hours. We all dropped everything and headed for the park. We weren't alone. We saw joggers, bikers, and short-sleeved Spring-breaking children venturing outside just to enjoy the sunshine while it lasted.

It was 55 degrees.

Sunbathing Oregon style with pink rubber boots and a polka-dot tuque!

This is Karst's first attempt at giving Taeg' an "underdog." We are witnessing Taeg at her apex. OK, it was a little underwhelming.


With an eye toward his inaugural Little League season, Karst' has been working on his defensive skills. He has been blessed with his father's athletic ability -- which means he'll have to overcome genetics to make it to the big leagues. Keep practicing buddy!

Despite his complete lack of coherent speech, Lang' was able to perfectly convey how we all felt as we spent an hour in the elusive March sun.

Pets

2011-03-08T09:20:00.000-08:00

Taegan: Mom, can I get a pet?

Mom: What kind of pet?

Taegan: A dog!

Mom: Hhmmm. How do you care for a pet dog?

Taeg: Feed it dog food, make it a dog bed and take it for dog walks.

Mom: What about the poop?

Taeg: I don't want a dog. I want a cat!

Mom: Cats poop too.

Taeg: What pet doesn't poop or puke, because I am not cleaning that up.

Mom: Hhhmm. Anything that eats needs to poop.

Taeg: I want a pet worm!

yay

2011-02-24T19:11:00.000-08:00

IT REALLY IS EASIER TO WALK THAN TO CRAWL!

Now if we could only convince him to wear socks...

Trashy

2011-02-17T13:24:00.000-08:00

We love our DVR. Because of this fabulous invention, we are able to watch trashy shows that are on past my bedtime. My fav right now is The Good Wife.

Any other suggestions that I should be wasting my brain cells on?

$3.45

2011-02-14T14:12:00.000-08:00

Travis and I have both agreed that we need to blog about something, but we don't have anything entertaining going on. I have decided to push through this lameness and share our goings on with you anyway. This post will probably be boring and contain TMI, get over it.

As of 1:08pm, today, we have $3.45. That includes any spare change that I found in my jacket and under the sofa cushion. I am not sad about this, but it will make for some interesting meals since our fridge and pantry are close to bare.

For lunch, we had some frozen corn and saltines with melted cheese on top. I didn't think anything of it until Karsten commented, "why is this bowl of corn sitting in front of me". Maybe I should have sprinkled some parsley on it to make it seem like a meal! He is becoming more like his Dad every day. I am not a foodie and hate to cook. wish my family luck.

Travis' car has been in the shop for 4 months. There is less than a 35% chance (I totally made up that stat, but that is what it feels like to me) that the new part will work and we can actually drive the car home this week.

My truck has started to do interesting things, like accelerate when my foot is on the brake. Today, I heard a strange knocking sound when I was stopped at a traffic light. I will give her the day off tomorrow.

I recently read a book about a previous president. I would tell you the name of it but I forgot and the book is downstairs. The book was not my favorite, but I finished it. Thanks, Mom. Maybe it is because i don't like to read books!, but i found some parts very discouraging. I realized that a President's job sucks. No matter what decision they make; someone will think it was bad. It is amazing that people want that job. I am glad we have good people in this country willing to stick their necks out. It kinda motivated me to get in touch of my political side.

Karsten has been doing extra chores so he can earn money for some legos. Today, he finally earned enough. On our way back from the toy store I heard him say "this is the best Valentine's Day ever", so I ate his box of chocolates that I got for him. I didn't want to ruin his day! Taeg' prefers to save her money, but when she saw Karsten headed out to the store she wanted to bring her money too. She found a toy that was $5 (she was sure not to spend all her money) and when she got to the counter it was discounted to $1. She was so happy when the cashier handed her $4 back. She loves to shop, but that girl can just look for hours.

Langdon has decided that walking is just too easy. We are waiting for that little light bulb to come on that tells him "crawling is way too hard on my knees, or even more difficult when I need to carry a toy around". But he still continues to crawl around on one elbow and his knees so he can hold his precious toy that he stole from Karsten and Teagan.

Travis has been working any overtime that he can find and I have been working as much as I can without totally neglecting our offspring. We decided to payoff our student loan early. It will be nice when it is gone. But I have to admit, sometimes I just want to go to target and buy a shirt so I can have one without a stain.

I should clarify. We are not struggling to get by, we have a savings account. We have simply made a choice to tighten our belts to get rid of this debt as fast as possible. I am a better sprinter than a long distance runner. My younger brother told me something that I will always remember. The Wood family likes to rip the band-aid off, rather than to slowly pull at it for a while. TMI

THE END.

Movie Review: Honey, I'm leaving you for a horse

2011-01-29T10:13:00.000-08:00

Here's a story about a Denver man who lived in a nice house with his attractive spouse and four children back in the late-1960's. After his elderly mother dies, he decides to help out his mentally frail father on the family horse farm in Virginia. He realizes that his attractive spouse and four children just don't "do it" for him, and that racing thoroughbred horses is what really excites him. He sends his family back west and remains in Virginia.

The man's spouse, who believed the arrangement would be temporary, puts on a brave face and works hard to raise the couple's growing children. After two years, however, the spouse is becoming overwhelmed. "We need you here," the spouse pleads. The man rejects this entreaty -- his prized thoroughbred "Big Red" is getting ready for a race. The man's presence is not really essential to the horse's success -- skilled trainers and handlers manage the horse on a day-to-day basis. He could just as easily manage affairs from his home in Denver. Nevertheless, the man feels justified in neglecting his family because living away from his horse would somehow constitute not "doing what you believe is right."

When the man's father passes away, he learns that the estate faces a seven-figure tax liability. This debt could be completely resolved by selling "Big Red." The horse's continued racing success would be just as likely with a new owner. In addition, the sale would bring in a tidy profit for the man and his family. Despite all this, the man retains the horse and enters into a financial arrangement that could potentially ruin his family in order to facilitate the hobby that has completely supplanted them.

What's the audience supposed to think of this man? Disney apparently hopes that the fact that the man in this story is actually a spunky middle-aged woman named Penny that the audience will call it "a feel-good movie."

I didn't feel particularly good. I know the film makers wanted me to be impressed by Penny's brave struggle against a male-dominated society, or something. But I was unable to make the connection between the woman's "sacrifice" and her race horse's historic success. The horse was awesome, but not necessarily because its owner made her husband a single-parent and she missed out on a significant part of her kids' childhood.

If you've watched Secretariat, I'd like to hear your take. What did you think?

Langdon is One

2011-01-12T12:34:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!

May this year bring you some hair and a desire to stand on your own two feet!

No joy in Hippieville tonight

2011-01-10T10:47:00.000-08:00

I don't think we have the energy to riot. Good game Auburn.

Great Season Ducks!

Can't wait for Fall 2011...

Flat-lander tobogganing

2011-01-05T09:49:00.000-08:00

Our southeast Eugene neighborhood has most of the ingredients for Winter fun -- we live on one of the best sledding hills around, the vehicle traffic is sporadic, and there are lots of young children living close by to share in the fun. The only problem is that our happy little valley seldom sees snow -- which is generally considered essential to Winter fun.

Over the New Year's holiday, we made our way back to Pendleton to visit family and loved ones. Good fortune smiled on us in the form of fresh snowfall. The kids were undeterred by the daytime highs that hovered around 17 degrees and the fact that Grandpa Duane's flat pasture land presented little in the way of gravity assist for their sled.

But who needs a steep grade when Grandpa has a Kubota tractor?

With Grandpa at the helm, the adrenaline junkies made a couple warm up laps around the pasture. The kids were checked for frostbite, and upon assuring ourselves that they were only light blue Grandpa opened up the throttle.

The riders didn't seem to notice that their runny noses had frozen -- they were enjoying themselves too much. It had been a long time since they had experienced snow. You'll notice that Karsten is wearing Melissa's winter gear. He donated his snow suit to Taegan.

Melis' donned her father's insulated coveralls, which left Langy with his sister's old snow gear. While he stayed toasty warm -- the boy never really warmed to his lilac fashion statement. I have a feeling this picture will make an appearance at his wedding reception some day. You're welcome, son.

Happy New Year and Happy Tobaggoning!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-23T16:31:00.000-08:00

The kids and I decided that our sugar intake needed to be increased for the holiday season, so we made cookies and caramel.

Don't talk to them! They are serious about their work.

Not too bad... if you like sprinkles!

This is what Langdon did while we made the goodies.

and this

I guess he thought they needed a bit more flour.

Then we ate the neighbor's cookies!

the end.

Murphy

2010-12-17T14:57:00.000-08:00

We have had a visitor in our home for the past few months. We thought that he would only stay for a short while, but I think he is just kicking it in the spare bedroom and has no intention of moving. No, it is not the former president of Liberia -- it is Murphy.

Murphy first made an appearance in October. We traveled to Portland to see my nephew Derek off before he entered the MTC. It was an awesome day. Derek gave a great talk in church, Michelle and the girls were fabulous hostesseseseses. That eve we said our good byes and jumped in the car, but it wouldn't start. Long story short, 2 hours later we eventually got it started (an act of God) and drove home, but the car has not started since. It has been towed to a few different shops but no one is sure of the exact problem. They all have very expensive guesses, like twice-the-value-of-the-car expensive. Whatever, we just left it at the shop we trust and have been doing the 1 car family thing for over 2 months while they try to diagnose the problem.

A few weeks after that our garbage disposal, literally exploded and sprayed water all over the kitchen.

A few weeks ago, my compound miter saw bit the dust. I forgot how freaking expensive a good one is. No wonder I bought the crappy one the first time.

And last week, the clothes washer stopped working and the part alone was as much as a new machine.

In between those weeks, our whole family has managed to get a strange cold that makes us all sound like a cat trying to hack up a hair ball, each morning and evening.

What have I learned in the last few months?

U-tube rocks. You can learn anything from some loser that taped himself and posted it on the internet. He may not even speak English, or wear pants, but I learned how to replace a garbage disposal and trouble shoot my washer after just a couple short videos.

Sometimes the best things in life are free.

Karsten and Taegan discovered that Home Depot has free woodworking kits for kids every Saturday morning in the Eugene area. They even got an apron and get a pin with every project they complete. Karsten is in heaven. Thanks for the tip Chris!

Vince was wrong. Germans do not always make good stuff.

Sometimes, Travis is right! There is a time to quit buying crap and just fork out the dough for something that is dependable.

Child Locks on a front load washer/dryer.. REALLY?! The people at Samsung are my hero.

Langdon has already tried to open all the doors while the clothes are spinning at 50 bazillion RPMs and they haven't even been installed for 24 hours.

Who needs Christmas presents when there is a washer and dryer box that takes up the whole family-room.

Excuse the mess! I was reliably informed that these are being converted into rockets by the short engineers that rule this home.

I thought Langdon was the laid back kid. This kid can be just as intense as Coach K at times.

Good thing he can't speak much English. Because, he would totally be yelling at us to get our butts down and move our feet on defense.

I am sure I learned more but there is water spraying from the hot AND cold shutoff valves in the laundry room... I am coming Murphy.

Out of Africa

2010-12-01T21:55:00.000-08:00

I may seem like a mild-mannered risk-averse homebody, but don't let my sedentary lifestyle fool you. I learned today that I am also a trusted confidant of the former president of Liberia. His son told me so in a letter.

Click to Enlarge

Apparently, deposed Liberian president Charles Taylor is being held by the United Nations while he stands trial for war crimes. Charles Jr. (and my overactive imagination) recounts the stirring visit with his father in custody. The warlord's family has a sizable fortune tied up in an American bank. They need someone they can trust to help get it out.

The disgraced Liberian leader pressed a frayed piece of paper into his son's hand. It contained only my name and address.

Perhaps Charles Jr. reacted with some surprise, "But Father, what can this man do? He lives in Eugene, Oregon -- he probably doesn't even wear socks!"

The older man raised his shackled hands and calmly replied, "I have a lot of confidence and trust in Travis' personality."

Perhaps Charles Jr. looked deep into his father's eyes for a moment, nodded slightly, and asked in a lowered tone, "Do you think he will accept 10% of the 177 million United States dollars?"

"Travis is a hard man," replied the accused war criminal, "it would be better to offer him 50%. Anything less -- he will simply mock you on his hippie blog."

Charles Jr. shuddered. He had seen what Travis had written about Snuggies earlier that year -- the young Liberian had immediately regretted buying several dozen of the blankets with sleeves for himself.

After embracing his embattled father one last time, Charles Jr. bid him farewell and boarded the private jet that would take the displaced Liberian back to a refugee camp in Tanzania.

So there you are -- a perfectly rational, logical, completely-believable account. The envelope even has a Tanzanian postmark.

I'll just type my response to Charles Jr. right here:

Dear Mr. Taylor:

Thank you for your letter. I regret that I must decline your generous business proposal. My services have already been engaged by the son of a deposed Nigerian king whose finds himself in circumstances very similar to your own. I must say, deposed African despots should really look into less-complicated financial arrangements for their children. They inevitably come to me for help. I think it's because my personality inspires both confidence and trust. Oh well, live and learn.

Yours truly,

Travis Stoddard

P.S. You should turn off caps lock -- it creates the appearance that you are yelling at people.

Langy gets his groove on

2010-11-17T16:01:00.000-08:00

Snapping out a rhythm (sort of)

Langdon has always demonstrated a preference for certain kinds of music. As an infant, his cries were immediately calmed upon hearing Dee Snider of Twisted Sister shout "I wanna rock!" (). Seriously.

The boy often sits on my lap as I read the news online and listen to music in the background. While his siblings can't help but dance when they hear Eiffel 65 (), Lang' generally responds to the Italian techno group with a prolonged groan. My old Depeche Mode songs from high school () elicit the same reaction. Jack Johnson (), on the other hand, always seems to get a smile from him.

As he's gained more control over his little body, Lang's started to show off some dance moves when his favorite songs come on. Initially, he would lay on his back and begin flopping his torso, legs, and arms wildly with a big grin on his face when he'd hear something like Gnarls Barkley (). We named the style "cracklin' bacon" since it reminded us of our favorite breakfast meat frying in the pan. He's since added some new moves like bobbing his head and working his shoulders -- all of which are quite amusing to observe.

Therein lies the problem. His dance moves are about as difficult to capture on film as an image of Bigfoot in his natural habitat. As soon as the camera comes out, Lang' ceases all gyration and assumes an attitude of quiet dignity. This morning, however, the boy was moving to some Crowded House with his back to me. I was able to catch the tail end of his dance stylings on video.

Rorschach test on hardwood

2010-11-08T14:10:00.000-08:00

Quick, what do you see...

click to embiggen

...spilled paint?

...a crummy floor sanding job?

...an overhead view of a Kleenex box?

Take another look and imagine yourself looking skyward through a stand of tall Douglas-fir trees.

It's the Ducks' new basketball floor.

I like it -- it should give Oregon fans something nice to look at this Winter when the other on-court action becomes too painful to watch.

Good Bye, Farewell to October

2010-11-04T11:15:00.000-07:00

October is gone and I am glad. Very glad. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or Travis' suddenly non-starting car, or the constant candy coma that everyone in my house was in, or the snotty noses, or the mysterious bruises on Langdon's head, or whatever -- but I feel better already simply because it is no longer October. I was looking back at the pictures from October to see what we had done. So here goes.

Langy still bathes in the sink. I know everyone was wondering!

Travis had a fantastic idea to go to a volleyball game. It was buy one ticket and get the next game ticket free. The first game was the civil war. The Ducks dominated the Beavers and looked spectacular, even from the cheap seats.

A couple weeks later, we watched the Ducks play against Cal. The Bears from Berkley are rated among the top 5 in the country...and the Ducks have been struggling lately. It showed. We got beat quickly. We left happy, however, since I caught a T-shirt thrown by one the UO athletes during player intros. I would like to think it was because of my awesome super athletic ability, but it was probably just because our family of 5 were the sole occupants of Section 16 next to the home team's bench. The football team was playing in SoCal on national television (as well as our Tivo).

Karsten's school had a fun run to help raise some funds. He convinced his grandparents to sponsor him -- they agreed to pay an exorbitant sum for every lap the boy could complete in 60 minutes. Each lap is a 1/4 mile. Last year, the top Kindergartner ran 17 laps. Karst set his sights high; he told his sponsors that his goal was to run 20. He ran the first 1.25 miles...

...then it was a walk/run for the remaining laps. He got 13 laps (3.25 miles) in during the hour. Yay Karsten! Not bad for the offspring of two people that HATE to run.

Langdon has decided that he can pull himself up on anything, stable or not. His bruised noggin strongly suggests that he should exercise more caution in selecting obstacles that will support his 22 pounds before attempting the ascent. I generally put him in the walker now just to slow him down a bit for his own health. And, as you can see, he still loves pickles.

An elephant, a spider and the human torch showed up at our house for Halloween. Here they are in their creepiest poses.

Back to Kindergarten

2010-10-12T16:10:00.000-07:00

This morning, Karsten and I scarfed down some oatmeal, put on our jackets, and set off into the crisp autumn air to walk to school. When we arrived, we hung our gear on a shared coat hook and entered the classroom together. No, I wasn't being the over-protective parent -- I was there on official business. It was my first stint as a kindergarten parent-volunteer.

Following Kinder-custom, Karst' immediately picked out a book, found a vacant carpet square on the floor, and began reading quietly to himself. When everyone was settled (which is a relative term for a room full of 5- and 6-year olds), his teacher announced that the class had a "daddy helper" to help them make some hand paintings. She emphasized the "daddy" part, which I interpreted to mean the kids were accustomed to female "mommy" volunteers. This is understandable, since not all daddies work part of the week from home. I consider myself fortunate.

I set up a corner of the classroom with brushes, paint, and paper and called the kids over two-by-two. I explained that I would be applying the paint to their hands, but that they could pick any color combination they wanted. I told them I would carefully place their painted hand palm-down on paper and let them see the result. The technicolor hand prints would then be saved on a special drying rack, where they would later undergo a complex preservation process that I don't completely understand. I'm just a caveman lawyer. Perhaps one of the "mommy" helpers can figure it out. Ultimately, the hand prints will be presented to parents later in the year.

I pondered the palms of 18 children with the solemnity of a gypsy fortune teller. The children considered custom color schemes and told me exactly what they wanted. Some kids asked for monochromatic fingers with a contrasting palm design. Others requested alternating finger colors and palm striping. Whatever they came up with, I would nod approvingly and compliment their aesthetic sense.

A couple of pony-tailed girls requested that I paint pink hearts and yellow flowers on their palms. I sighed deeply and warned that I didn't have very much experience painting such things. One of them just smiled and responded, "I think you will paint a beautiful flower." I did my best, which was apparently good enough for my young art patrons. No, I don't plan on quitting my day job.

After two hours, it was time to shut down my hand painting operation and return to the pile of work awaiting me in my home office. Before leaving, I happened to overhear one of Karst's classmates thank him for sharing his dad with the class. That pretty much confirmed my suspicion that Kindergartners are pretty darn awesome.

1/3

2010-10-11T10:03:00.000-07:00

Travis and I had temporarily put home improvement projects on hold, but we forgot to send the memo to our neighbors. They wanted the fence between us fixed. These people are a nice older couple a few years from retirement, that treat our kids well. This is the only picture i could find of the said fence. It was probably the best section, but you get the idea.

Neighbor guy first wanted to just repair sections, so we started to take down sections. We then realized that it was just better to take it all down. In the words of neighbor guy, "this is the last time I want to work on this fence, I am not moving and it needs to last until they haul me out of here." We both agreed that we didn't want to fork out the dough to pay someone to do it. So he worked up some numbers and we went to work.

Well Travis, the kids, and I went to work on the fence, neighbor guy went to his cushy dentistry job. We tore down the 120' of fencing pretty fast. The next weekend we had someone cut down a tree between our properties. One Saturday, we rented a gas powered post hole auger for the 25 holes and set the posts. I believe that was the hardest part of the project. The 3rd week, I purchased lumber and the kids and I worked on it every moment we could. I literally would just drop my tools on the ground and go pick up Karsten from school covered in sawdust with Taegan and Langdon in tow, then get back to work after we ate lunch.

We are proud to introduce the great cedar wall.

We made a section completely removable so when we are ready to re-landscape I can fit a truck/tractor in the back yard. We bumped the fence along the side of our house towards the front lawn so our back yard would be much bigger. During the project every wildlife creature used our backyard and Karsten dubbed it 'the poop desert'.

We are grateful to have privacy again. I was grateful for a project and my Dad's staple gun.

I love the smell of cedar. The fence is really nice. Now it makes the rest of our property and house an eye sore. Next year we will get the tractor back there.

And as a side note, I purchased the lumber, concrete, tool rentals etc and came in half of what neighbor guy's estimated for wood alone was. Thank you Dad for giving me the understanding and desire to work and do it right, thank you Mom for teaching me to reuse and get the best price, even if I needed to go to the slums to find awesome cedar.

p.s. we still have 2/3 of the fence left around the rest of our property to do... next year!?! Right other old neighbor guy?!

cupcakes, balloons, and rainbows

2010-10-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

Taegan finally turned 4. She has been talking about her birthday since June. Making a birthday list since Christmas. And acting 13 since birth. Needless to say, she was ready to party last Thursday.

Taegan is adored by everyone that comes in contact with her. Langdon would say it is because of her hair. It is just fluffy enough to grab a handful of as she rushes in to give him a hug and tell him how cute he is. Karsten adores Taeg' because she is fearless and not afraid to ask Mom any question. I am frequently awakened before 6am to... "can you make me breakfast?" or "can we watch a show?" or "can you come down and play?". I am almost 99% sure that most of these needs are put into her head by her older brother and he knows that she will act on them, immediately, even if she already did 15 seconds ago.

Taegan has a fantastic sense of humor that I hope she keeps forever. She can be F.U.N.N.Y. One eve while reading the scriptures together as a family, Travis paused after reading something like... "declare the gospel as with the voice of..." Taegan immediately deadpanned "a tuba." She then just sat there waiting for everyone to get her joke.

Even though, we have realized that we cannot have anything nice while Taegan lives with us, (The girl could seriously figure out a way to destroy a brick) we love her and are glad that she is part of our lives.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAEG'!

Cowboys like us

2010-09-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

Melissa and I come from Pendleton, Oregon. When the topic of hometowns comes up here in the Willamette Valley, people often remark, "Oh, I drove through Pendleton once on the way to...." I suppose we're fortunate that I-84 runs through the place, otherwise a lot of people would have no reason to see it at all. It's relatively quiet, except during the second week of September -- that's when the rodeo comes to town.

If you don't mind some appropriate theme music from Mr. Strait while you read, please click play ()

We've lived in places that host annual rodeo events, but they all just pale in comparison to the Pendleton Round-Up. I can't imagine Eugene shutting down all public schools on account of a rodeo -- but that's exactly what Pendleton does every year. For the entire week. The town's human, equine, and bovine population swells as it transforms into a curious mix of The Old West and The Nashville Network. It's kind of a big deal.

This year the Round-Up turns 100 years old. The centennial edition has received some added attention in the media -- the photos posted here are all from the Oregonian's website. Melissa and I recently enjoyed the documentary on public television that explained the Round-Up's origins and history. It brought back a lot of memories. We both attended the rodeo every year when we were young. I was even one the Boy Scout ushers in the North Grandstand for a few years. No less than 3 of my elementary school teachers have their portraits hanging in the Round-Up Hall of Fame as former Round-Up royalty. Our high school mascot: The Buckaroos. Go Bucks!

As I looked at these pictures, I admit that I regret not being able to be there. I'm no cowboy -- not even a pretend one. But it was still fun to watch guys get sent flailing from a bucking horse, or to watch an angry Brahma bull try to take a rodeo clown's head off. I marveled at how far a steer wrestler could twist the beast's head around before it finally decided to just assume a supine position.

Pendleton may be generally known as a good place to gas up the car while on your way to somewhere else, but it has a charm that is not fully appreciated in passing.

Addicted to Quack!

2010-09-09T14:31:00.000-07:00

Starting this week, I share a portion of my morning work commute with Karsten as I drive him to school. If he's feeling any anxiety about starting kindergarten, he hasn't shown it. He did express concern that his new academic schedule would preclude watching Ducks football with me on Saturday afternoons. Ah, the rigors of kindergarten.
I assured him that his teacher would probably give him Saturdays off -- and that he was free to take his usual seat on the couch next to me. He sighed with relief.

So when we last saw the Ducks, they were the 2009 PAC-10 champs and had reached the Rose Bowl for the first time in 15 years. Ohio State sent Ducks fans home disappointed, but we took heart in the fact that most of our team would be returning for the 2010 season. Surely, we would contend for the National Championship, especially with our Heisman candidate quarterback Jeremiah Masoli breaking through defenses. Wait a minute, did I say "Heisman?" -- because I should have said Heistman...and that he'd be breaking through locked fraternity house doors to help commit burglary. A couple months later Masoli decided to clear his head and go driving, only to be pulled over for a traffic violation...while his license was suspended...and, um, with weed in the car. Holy moly Masoli!

Masoli flew south to join Ole Miss -- we don't talk anymore.

So this season Coach Kelly (who's still got the brain of a dolphin) decided to reinforce his philosophy of "Win The Day" by having the phrase placed just about everywhere in Autzen Stadium. It's possible he saw some of the Mormon guys on the team with CTR rings and decided to go with something similar. The result: WTD.

Defensive tackle Simi Toeaina explains, "It's all about changing bad habits...You start by waking up in the morning and making your bed. It helps you start better habits and stop bad habits on the field. Work on only what makes you better."

Make your bed in the morning. Win.

Work hard at practice. Win.

Avoid committing burglary, driving while suspended, or smoking doobies. Full of Win!

That's a philosophy that Karsten and I can get behind.

As the boy and I walked to his classroom this morning, we talked about this weekend's game against Tennessee. He asked me if the Vols' were any good; I told him that we would likely prevail if we play our best. He predicted the Ducks would wear grey pants and white jerseys. I argued that we'd see green pants instead. Before we could pursue this fascinating topic any further, his teacher opened the classroom door and welcomed the kindergartners to DAY #2.

He carefully hung his backpack on a hook outside the classroom and went straight to class. Win.

Go Ducks (and Cougs!)

Unbiased and impartial review

2010-09-02T22:42:00.000-07:00

So last weekend we went to Portland to enjoy the Crowded House concert. Travis and I have never been to a concert together. Actually, the last concert I attended was Heavy D and the Boyz when I was still a teenager. Yes, I know you are all jealous that I was that cool.
But all I remember from that night was thinking "This music is loud and I can't even understand the words and I know this music" and "Is that guy really going to do that?! Is he drunk?"

I admit that I have not followed Crowded House since 1987 and I still cannot name one of their songs, but last Thursday's concert was very enjoyable. As Travis and I reached Portland, we realized why we love Eugene. Holy traffic in all directions! Travis and I were introduced to the HOV lane (that lasted for .01 miles) by a nice police officer that politely told us that he would have given us a ticket just for thinking about going into that lane without the appropriate number of people in our car (2 or more). Whatever.

Thanks to the traffic we arrived just as the warm up band was ending, yay! We found a nice comfy spot on the grassy knoll and had just enough time to look around and notice that there where a lot of families in attendance. Kids of all ages were everywhere and the band recognized this right away. Not even 15 minutes into the concert, lead singer Neil volunteered the frizzy haired drummer (Matt, I believe) to challenge any child 12 or under to a "foot race" around the stadium. Now I can't say for sure, but I don't think Heavy D or his Boyz would have done that!

Edgefield Amphitheater is a beautiful area, the band was personable, the people were polite, and the guy sitting with me on my Sesame Street blanket was warm. Before we left we tried to plan the next time we would come back, but next on the Amphitheater docket was Chicago or Willy Nelson...not going to happen.

We spent the rest of the weekend in Pendleton, kicking it with Great Grandma Lorene, checking out my brother Jeff's new place in the boonies, and cutting and freezing corn with my Daddio. I seriously don't believe one could fit more things or driving time into four days, but no pictures for you!

Just "Don't Dream it is Over"!()
(Photos from crowdedhouse.com)

We're the same age again!

2010-08-20T11:52:00.000-07:00

Nature's full of temporary oddities. For example, the orbit of Pluto (which is still a planet dangit!) brings it inside the orbit of Neptune for a 20-year period every 248 years. This temporarily leaves Neptune as the planet farthest from the sun. Closer to home, every summer for a 2-month period, Melissa can honestly say her age is one year less than her husband. That ends today!

Melissa recently indicated that she's been feeling old. Karsten is preparing to begin kindergarten next month and has received his first visit from the tooth fairy. Taegan can now bowl over 100 on Wii Sports. Langdon has been recently spotted rocking back-and-forth ponderously on all fours. As children grow, I suppose it's natural for their parents to marvel at how fast time flies.

I can still vaguely recall when I awkwardly called up Melis' back when I was a junior at Pendleton High to ask her to attend the Fall Homecoming dance with me. We had never dated before, but I always thought she was pretty cool. After all, she was a multi-sport varsity athlete, she had a great sense of humor, and she was (ahem) very easy on the eyes. I was extremely pleased when she agreed to an evening of dinner and dancing with me.

I remember dropping Melis off at her parent's home at the end of the evening. My mind debated whether to go in for a quick hug or (gulp!) a peck on the cheek. Ultimately, I totally chickened out and offered my hand for a firm handshake(!) Like I said, I was awkward. It was the last date we would share for several years.

Fast forward 18 years. I admit I remain a little awkward, but at least I don't shake her hand anymore. She is still very easy on the eyes, and I'm still extremely pleased to be around her.

Happy Birthday dearest.

After the last two months, isn't it great to be married to a guy your own age?

Steppin' out

2010-08-14T17:41:00.000-07:00

Our family enjoys the outdoors. How we enjoy the outdoors is a question of taste. Melissa and Taeg' enjoy being in the outdoors -- camping under the stars, hiking a woodland trail, experiencing the sensation of small insects flying around their faces. Karst' and I, on the other hand, enjoy observing the outdoors from the air conditioned comfort of the indoors. Like the female-type people in our family, we are inspired by mountain vistas and Pacific sunsets. We just believe the beauty of creation goes best with a big bowl of ice cream we just got from the freezer.

Our disparate notions of "roughin' it" are frequently resolved via reasonable compromise.

S'mores

We all agree that an afternoon at Amazon Park is a perfectly acceptable outdoor activity on a warm summer day.

The kids pretended they were on an episode of Wipeout -- trying to maintain their balance on a wildly-shifting obstacle. Much respect to their photographer mother for snapping a semi-discernible image of them on a rapidly spinning merry-go-round.

We're all curious what Lang's stance will be on important outdoor issues, such as the propriety of people sleeping in bags or going more than 24 hours without bathing. As we are equally divided on whether to camp in a tent or a mountain lodge with electricity and indoor plumbing -- he will likely be the deciding vote.

Ah, but what's this?

Perhaps he's a car camper.

Crowded House 101

2010-08-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

This post is primarily intended to get my wife up to speed on the music of Crowded House -- since she's graciously agreed to accompany me to their concert later this month. She has no idea who they are.
This is understandable, since they only had two big hits in America...way back in 1987 (when Melis' was just getting into gangsta rap, I suppose). If you ever listen to an 80's radio station, or even pay attention to the background music playing at the grocery store, you may still hear "Don't Dream It's Over" (Click to listen) or "Something So Strong" ().

Back in their native New Zealand and Australia, however, Crowded House was the biggest thing since The Beatles. I suppose pop music never came up during Melissa's missionary labors in Queensland. Otherwise, she would have learned that the group drew around 200,000 people to a 1996 concert outside the Sydney Opera House. A recording of the event made for an awesome album (link opens a new window where you can have a listen -- tracks 2, 3, 7, 10, and 11 are among my favorite CH songs).

The group is led by Neil Finn on vocals, lead guitar, and occasional keyboards. He's often praised for his songwriting, but I don't really know what he's singing about most the time. I'm more impressed with the melodies he comes up with. A Crowded House song can be light and upbeat like their two American hits; it can also be funky like "Instinct" () and "Whispers and Moans" (Track 7 at the link above), or it can even be vaguely melancholy like "Pour le Monde" () and "Silent House" (), which Neil wrote with the Dixie Chicks. Whatever the mood, Neil has a talent for making music that is melodically interesting. "Saturday Sun" () is the first release off the group's latest album. The album version is a nice little pop song, though a touch overcooked. The live version -- with Neil on a 12-string electric guitar -- is much better.

This video brings up one last subject I wish to raise. Crowded House fans all over the world have expressed disdain for Neil's new mustache. An Irish newspaper man referred to it simply as "lamentable." There's even a Facebook page for people who care to make light of it. I think it makes him look like Steve Martin's ill-conceived version of Inspector Clouseau. But, alas, Neil likes it and has no intention of shaving it. I just wanted to prepare you for it ahead of time -- it's OK to laugh.

Melis', please take heart if you don't end up liking Crowded House as much as your husband. Keep in mind that even if you think the music sucks, you still get to spend an evening under the stars with a ruggedly handsome man who doesn't smell like lady-scented body wash. I appreciate that you're willing to come with me.

O.L.D.

2010-08-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling old lately.

This does not make me feel any younger.

Karsten has been asking me to see if his left front tooth is loose everyday now for about 6 years. Well yesterday, he asked me to check his bottom right tooth about 92 times. Finally, on the 93rd attempt, he got tired of me and just pushed it out with his tongue. He is so happy that the Tooth Fairy left him a note along with the moo-la.

Wipeout!

2010-07-31T11:58:00.000-07:00

I know it's not a new show -- and that even when it was new, it was still a rip-off of an old Japanese game show -- but my family has suddenly and inexplicably become huge fans of Wipeout.

The kids demand that we record every episode so they can watch it at their leisure (which is surprisingly often). The premise of the show is simple: watch people go through exhausting obstacle courses specifically designed to make them look ridiculous. The fastest times move on to the next round and compete to win $50,000. A couple of guys both named John add funny commentary throughout the competition.

You'd think that the show would get a little tired after presenting this...

and this...

followed by this...

and this...

...every single week. But for some reason we continue to tune in and continue to laugh out loud.

I recently suggested to Melis' that we go on the show and compete. After all, we both played sports back in the day and we have (mostly) maintained our sanity while raising three active children -- how hard could it be to defeat something called "the beater-totter" or "the crazy sweeper." She was not very enthusiastic.

On a whim, I checked out the casting requirements for the show. At the top of the list: "You don't need to be an athlete to participate." Yeah, yeah, we know they like to use flabby people because they look particularly hilarious when they wipe out. I'd be a serious contestant with an athletic physique (stop laughing, I've got Phil Mickelson abs -- he's totally an athlete!).

According to the show's website, the rest of the requirements are:

• MEN AND WOMEN over 18 years of age. [good to know I won't be competing against young children or chimpanzees, I'd feel kind of bad pushing them aside on my way to victory]
• Legal residents of the U.S. [sorry illegals, only American citizens are allowed to look this ridiculous]
• Must be able to swim. [unless you are a serious contestant that has never, ever wiped out...and never will...ever]
• Fun, strong-willed, outgoing, and have a great sense of humor. [If you give me $50,000, I'll be all of those things...a lot]

Maybe I'm just trying to reclaim faded glory (ah, high school golf team...those were the days), but I really do think it would be fun to be on the show. In the mean time, however, I'm content to spend my summer watching it with Melis' and the kids from the comfort of our reclining sofa.

Stronger, Faster, Awesomer

2010-07-23T23:12:00.000-07:00

Karst' became a 6-year-old this week. While his birthday celebration was still in the planning stages, he advised us that he would prefer to forgo the traditional cake, and instead go with a large quantity of birthday donuts. We obliged.

Note Langy's "Rock on!" facial expression -- he just got his first lick of a maple bar and immediately achieved a higher level of consciousness. Sugar and fat...the party starter.

There was a brief awkward moment upon discovery that the Party Planning Committee had forgotten to obtain birthday candles. Melis' quickly improvised, however, and carefully placed 6 strike-anywhere wooden matches in Karsten's festive cake donut. Crisis averted.

When the smoke cleared (literally), we all enjoyed some birthday donuts. As we tucked him in that night, Karst' thanked us for "the best birthday ever." He deserves nothing less (we're just glad the boy's so easy to please).

In other news, my wife has publicly castigated me for taking too much time off from blogging. There is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this: Melissa has been insanely productive lately. Club house construction and freezer jam fabrication, all while raising "3 kids and 1 Travis" (I love that line, Reader). She makes the most interesting man in the world seem like a dullard. Even though I'm the pasty white version of the Old Spice Body Wash Guy, it's still hard to keep up with her level of sheer awesomeness.

While I'm sitting here typing on the computer, smelling like adventure, she has just changed the front shocks on her truck. I'm completely serious...
She would have done the rear shocks too, but she had to prepare a fruit plate to take to the ward picnic this evening -- which was also freakin' delicious. Even her fellow shop techs were impressed...

OK, Taeg' appears to be more impressed by the inanimate carbon rod she's acquired. In any event, my momentary silence on this blog should not be interpreted as indifference. I've simply been marveling at my co-blogger (who cleans up nicely, I might add).

(By the way, Melis', don't even think about taking down your "grease angel" photo -- your fellow shop techs signed a release in exchange for a rubber mallet and an inanimate carbon rod)

Jam'n

2010-07-19T13:30:00.000-07:00

Sometime during the clubhouse making process I managed to make jam. Let me rephrase, I managed to squish a bunch of yummy strawberries and make my kitchen appear as if a massacre had occurred there.

The end result was this. Technically 29 of these.
Somehow along the journey I had convinced myself (despite all the warnings on the instructions) not to following the recipe. So I actually now have 28 (travis ate one already) strawberry syrups-es. My mixer is slowly trying to leave this world, but when it does I just beat on the side of it with my hand and it makes a low-moaning sound but eventually starts to mix (hence the strawberry goo on the side of the mixer). I am not ready to part ways with it, the Neighbor Lady bought it for me probably secretly thinking that I should learn to make something yummy in the kitchen with it. Undoubtedly she has given up hope, but I still feel obligated somehow. Not obligated enough to actually spend time using it, there are clubhouses to paint after all, but obligated to feel guilty enough to keep beating it with my hand to keep it running.

Next time I will pay someone to make my homemade jam. And Travis (if you still even read this blog anymore) we should invest in a wicked awesome blender (with the money in the kids' piggy bank) someday because I am sure that is the cause of my lovely mixers death. I can make one rock'n root-beer milkshake as long as I have the stamina to keep beating the mixer.

p.s. do not even suggest a trendy kitchen-aid, those 'are good to poop on'!

Celebrating our Freedom

2010-07-15T22:51:00.000-07:00

I used to be married to a guy that liked this blog. And to prove his love, he would B.L.O.G. This made me very happy because it took the pressure off me to keep up. I hate to write and am bad at it. He loves to write and gets paid to do it so he must be good. I am crappy at taking pictures. He loves to tweak with my crappy pictures. It was true love. I am still married to the man, maybe he is proving his love in some other way. Like frying bacon. Yummy bacon.

Anyway. My Dad came to town over the 4th of July and we celebrated by working our butts off for 12 hours on Saturday. We built this. Technically, when he left all the walls were up and the roof was on. I got the idea/plans from Ana at knock-off wood.

Everyone helped. My Dad rocks. My son loves to use the drill. Taeg' will eat A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Yes, anything includes peanut shells that the previous owner from 300 years ago put down in the flower bed. Travis hates the drill or any other wicked awesome loud power tool and so does Langy. They both tried to escape the noise and crawl up in the fetal position when the miter saw turned on. Ok, ok, I lied. Travis helped a lot, unless it required the use of a tape measure then he resumed the fetal position with Langdon.

Karsten, Taegan, Langdon and I have been working on it almost everyday since and we are still NOT done. It did look like this.

There is trim work still to be done. and some shingles. and a lot of sanding. and a rail. and more paint. and more cutting. and staining. and a telescope. and some sand. But until then it looks like this... You would think that I would at least have a farmers tan to show for my efforts. Nope. Nothing. I swear that since I have turned 30 my skin repels the sun. I believe that I actually get whiter when the sun comes out. Anyway. I love having a project. I really like this Clubhouse. But, I believe it may become a money pit. Wouldn't a pool or at least a trampoline be awesome, so you could jump from the roof? How about a dumbwaiter under the house that you could climb into and then it would lift you up through the clubhouse floor? or a zip line? Or a pole to slide down when your too lazy to use the ladder, zip line, dumbwaiter, rope ladder, or climb on the roof and jump off. Maybe it just needs it's own electrical panel so Trav' can hook up a hot plate and fry me some bacon.

Yay for America where I can eat bacon and build a mini house behind my real house for my kids to live in.

Medical Update

2010-07-08T12:59:00.001-07:00

Sorry to interrupt this boring blog dry spell but we have a medical update.

Langdon is 6 months old and to celebrate the kids and I went with him to get his legs shot full of holes. Gotta love vaccines.
Langy is alive and well. Maybe not according to the dorky nurse, that can't use a tape measure. She claimed that he is actually shorter than he was at 4 months and that his head grew over an inch in circumference. (I realize that measuring a baby is sorta like measuring the yardage in football. they eyeball it and we all except it as gospel). We had a filler-inner nurse while the super awesome Kari is out for the month and I guess the new girl has never used a tape measure before. It never occurred to me to have her do it again (it was so painful to watch her read it the first time). So here are the stats for the short, fat, big headed baby.

6 Month stats:Head = 18" = 93%
Weight = 19#8oz = 83%
Height = 27" = 72% (I measured him this morning and he is about 28.25", I am guessing that will put him in the "I am awesome percentage")

Langdon is starting to become active. I am not sure how he moves but when I set him on the floor and come back he is never where I left him. He has figured out how to get the walker moving in the direction he desires and is all about testing his boundaries.
His two bottom teeth have come in. Thank goodness because he was acting like such a baby. It made me very grateful for the laid back happy kid that he is.

real life

2010-06-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

The beach was so great that now we are suffering from withdrawals. It was getting so bad that I painted stuff. I hate painting, but Karsten and Taegan love it. I almost hate painting enough that I would rather clean up after them. almost.

Taegan decided that she was ready to play the Wii unassisted.

Karsten found himself the perfect lab assistant that doesn't tell him: 'that doesn't make sense' or 'it is my turn now' or 'that is not a word'. Langdon is just so happy to get that keyboard close enough to touch.

Langy has discovered that having thunder thighs has advantages when your head is 99% of your weight and your abs muscles don't really exist. Larger surface area for sitting. yay!

The life aquatic with Lang' Stoddard

2010-06-19T12:04:00.000-07:00

Update: Shelly posted some more photos from our week at the beach.

This week, Lang' ventured into the Pacific for the first time. At five months old, he's kind of a tough interview -- but judging from the feral cat sounds he was making, I think he enjoyed it quite a bit.

The Stoddard clan decided to rent a large beach house this year to accommodate our increased size. We all came away very impressed.

From the deck overlooking the sea, Taeg' and I scanned the ocean for migrating whales. More accurately, I scanned the ocean, Taeg' scanned the neighbors' bathroom window. Neither of us discovered any whales, but we still enjoyed the view.

Down on the beach, Karst' set out to construct "a very tall mountain" -- but he abandoned the project at about 18 inches. He apparently understands geologic time and appreciates the fact that very tall mountains generally rise very slowly.

Not surprisingly, Taeg' embraced the beach...literally. Her high-pitched giggling and squeals could be heard above the din of crashing waves. She loved leading her parents into the breaking surf until the freezing water washed over us.

Safely perched above the chaos, Lang' enjoyed watching us get soaked. Melis' and I may appear to be enjoying ourselves, but we really can't feel our lower extremities.

Karst' is a wiser man than I. While we froze our tootsies off in the sea, Karst' luxuriated next to a crackling wood fire and waited for his elderly man servant (Grandpa Dave) to prepare the boy's sixth or seventh s'more.

I eventually convinced Karst' to leave his comfy chair and join me for a toe-tingling dip.

Lang' just looked on. I can't tell if this is a wistful expression ("I wish I could play in the ocean too") or if he's simply wondering "Why are these crazy people standing in frigid water when there's a perfectly good hot tub back at the beach house."

In time we'll find out if Lang' is a child of nature like his sister, or if he'll be joining his civilized older brother for s'mores by the fire. In any event, he seemed to enjoy his first experience on the Oregon coast.

Congratulations Tony!

2010-06-13T19:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we joined my sister Bre, her husband Tony, and a significant portion of the Stoddard and Spratling clans to celebrate Tony's graduation from (ahem) a little-known state university in Corvallis. It was a lot of fun.

Here are some photos from the festivities held in an impressive public park in north Albany...

We're proud of you Tony!

Dog-sitting [Updated]

2010-06-02T21:08:00.000-07:00

My mother sent me this picture today from Pendleton -- where Melissa and the kids are visiting briefly. Presumably Taeg' was tasked with providing some exercise for Herbie, her grandmother's ~~mentally deficient~~ cockapoo. By the looks of it, this is Herbie at wide-open throttle.
Thanks for the photo, Mom.

UPDATE: A couple more images of a remarkably productive Taeg' -- watching her cousin Avery and watering the flowers too!

Signs

2010-05-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

Karsten and Taegan have different artistic styles. Karsten's preferred medium is a No. 2 pencil sharpened to fine point. His work appears to be inspired by Picasso's synthetic cubism. Taeggy, on the other hand, deals almost exclusively in colors. She does not stay in the lines. She's an impressionist like Monet.

The two disparate styles collaborated a couple weeks ago to produce a gift for Melissa on Mother's Day.

Family Portrait

pencil and crayon on 20 pound bond paper

The discerning eye can make out Karst's inscription "Happy Mothers Day" on the upper right. Karsten will begin kindergarten this Fall with a pretty solid grasp of the English alphabet. I came home the other day to find this taped to his bedroom door...

"WARNING MOM AND DAD KAN NOT COME IN"

I reminded the boy that he is merely a tenant living rent-free in his parents' home. "You still can't come in" he retorted. What if the house is burning down? Am I allowed to come in and rescue him?

"No, I'll get myself out."

What if the house is burning down and both of the boy's legs are broken?

"I'll hop," he replied.

His sign-making skills have not been without their advantages. This sign recently appeared unannounced on our bedroom door...

That's an interesting sign, Karst. Um, what is it?

"It's a bear. This sign tells them to stay out of your room."

Apparently, despite their fearsome reputation, wild bears are quite fastidious about obeying prohibition signs superimposed over their own likeness. I know this to be true because with this sign on my door -- I've yet to observe a single bear in my room.

If bedroom bear attacks are a problem for you, then please print this out and tape it to your bedroom door right away. It will give you peace of mind in a world full of intrusive hungry bears.

Hopefully the bears won't get in Karst's way in the event his broken legs force him to hop unassisted out of our burning home.

Hunk

2010-05-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

Langy is a big ol' hunk.

4 Month stats:
Head = 17" = 72%
Weight = 16#15oz = 83%
Height = 27 1/8" = 97%

I recently remembered that we have an old walker. Don't believe his facial expression, he really does like it.

Today is sunny. We opened up the seasonal clothes box and pulled out the t-shirts and shorts. I just hope it doesn't snow this afternoon.

Bye.

Toothy Taeg'

2010-05-05T17:06:00.000-07:00

It's been over a year now since Karsten discovered the unbridled joy of dental check-ups. This afternoon he accompanied his little sister to the dentist's office for her first experience.

As they separated to their individual exam rooms, they each looked like they were about to climb aboard Space Mountain. I sat in the corner of the exam room with Taegy while the dental hygienist explained the various tools they would be enjoying, er, using during the examination. Taegy particularly enjoyed "Mr. Sucky" -- the delightful oral suction device. She also immediately accepted the Terminator-style sunglasses they offered before turning up the exam lights. You'll be pleased to know that her teeth have "perfect spacing" -- which I think means she has something in common with Cletus from the Simpsons.

She was so excited afterward, it was hard to get her to hold still for the obligatory first-dentist-visit-photo.

She can't wait for her next ~~ride~~ appointment.

what ya gonna do

2010-04-27T13:57:00.000-07:00

This is what you have to do after you build and re-build a fort 46 times, eat left overs for lunch, play in the freezing cold rain until your hands are numb, and then take a warm shower...

Even Langy enjoys hanging out for a few minutes under the blankets watching a moovee (Karsten is teaching me how to spell)!

SNOW!!

2010-04-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

What the... WHAT?!
(you need to know who Liz Lemon is to truly appreciate that saying!)

Anywho, it snowed a few days ago. YES, in April. It snowed so much that it actually stuck to the ground. The kids ran around and quickly got on their snow gear. Good thing they were quick because by the time I got out the camera, it was mostly melted. They were able to entertain themselves in a mud puddle after the big thaw.

Taegan could win any mud contest. Unfortunately, she decided to 'wash' the sliding glass door with those lovely mitts.
It was worth the few moments of peace and quiet.

The baby

2010-04-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

Langdon is 3 months old. Our baby is growing up fast. Today, when I put him in bed I realized that I couldn't wrap the blanket around him because he was too big, so I just laid it over him and tucked it around the best I could. It was weird. It feels like he has been around forever, but at the same time it seems like we just brought him home from the hospital.

Langdon is mellow and usually just hangs back and watches Karsten and Taegan for entertainment. We all adore him, he will never be starved for attention.

Easter Weekend

2010-04-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

The Stoddard clan all returned to Pendleton this past weekend to celebrate Easter and watch the General Conference broadcast (along with some Final Four action).

I refer you to Mom Stoddard's personal diary for a report of events, which included aggressive mini football-dunking and fairy princesses wielding bouquets of death.*

* Karsten teaches us that adding "...of death" to any item immediately increases its intimidation factor. Hence, his plastic hunting knife is actually a "knife of death" and his toy bow and arrow are the "bow and arrow of death" etc. We've gradually come to apply this nomenclature to less-threatening items as well.

Guidelines for airport monkey inspectors

2010-03-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought flying commercial couldn't be more demeaning, they now want to inspect my monkey.

This helpful government website instantly made me think of Inspector Clouseau's questioning of the blind beggar and his "minkey" (video here).

I've never heard of a helper monkey, but I definitely want one now.

TSA saves the best for last:

"The inspection process may require that the handler take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection."

My monkey will be completley potty-trained and will wear Batman Underoos.

Taegan! [Updated]

2010-03-24T15:52:00.000-07:00

I have found myself saying that name a lot lately. And not in hushed reverent tones either.

Taegan! has needed a place to hang her little treasures. I came up with this:

I put the letters of her name up because she is learning to spell her name. So many people mispronounce (tay-gan) it or spell it wrong that I figured I would teach her to spell it and she can correct them if she chooses. So far, Karsten and probably even Langdon know how to spell it but Taegan! just can't figure out why it is such an important thing to know. Maybe the letters will help her, because she loves to look at them.
This is the first time I have used modge podge. I don't hate the stuff, but I might if I am forced to get in touch with my crafty side again.

Don't thumb-your-nose at my craftiness. This was the only thing that I could come up with that fit the space. She likes it and I can see my fridge again, so I like it!

UPDATE:
OK, due to popular demand (I can think of one person off the top of my head) I will explain how I made this.

My first priority was cost. I didn't want to spend any money and I had seen something like this last summer on someone's blog and thought it was clever, but couldn't find it again when I wanted to make one. So, this is my version of someone else's idea that I couldn't remember!

I measured Taegan's! space between the dresser and the corner. I believe it was less then 3' more like 33" so I went into the garage and looked at the wood I had laying around and I found a 8' x 1" x 2". I then grabbed some clothes pins and realized I no likie with the skinny board, but I was so lazy and didn't want to break out the table saw to make a wider board with some other wood I had (our garage has been clean for months, Langdon was in the garage with me and I just didn't feel like holding a baby while dust was blowing in our faces), so I made a mental note to look for mini clothes pins. Two months later, I remembered to look for mini clothes pins and they were right next to some Modge Podge. A crafty friend of mine has been telling be about Modge Podge (it is just CRAFTY GLUE) so I grabbed both, not intending to use it for this project at all. Total cost for glue and pins under $2.

I laid out the mini clothes pins on the two 33" boards and spaced them out with my eyeballs, alternated them up/down/up, took the springy out, glue them on with wood glue and painted both white. I then painted my hands white while trying to paint the other half of the clothes pins. After everything dried I put the springy thing back on the glued half and then attached the other side of the clothes pins. The next morning, after finding the stud locations, I slapped them on the wall using my nail gun.

Taegan! put her treasures in it and was happy as a clam for about 30 seconds. Then she said that they didn't look that cute and she wished they were pink. I just couldn't bring myself to pull them off the wall and paint my hands pink, that is when I remembered the crafty glue. I always read blogs with people doing crafty stuff with wood, vinyl letters, scrapbook paper and modge podge and figured it was my chance to prove to my daughter that it didn't need to be painted pink to be cute! I found some wrapping paper with polka dots in our bin and cut out little strips to fit on the top of the clothes pins. Coated each pin with crafty glue, pressed on the paper, let dry, more glue, dry, glue, dry, glue, dry, very light sand around the edge of paper, glue, dry, glue. TA-DA. Yesterday, Taegan! told me thanks and that she loved it! Well worth the $2.

Big, Bigger, Biggest

2010-03-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

Langdon is 2 months old. Well, technically he is 2.5 months now. But better late then never, is my current motto.

He is quick to give ya a smirk, but you really need to work hard to get a true grin, and you will probably be breaking a sweat to get a giggle. He is quite vocal and loves to offer his opinions during a conversation with an Oooohh, Ahhhh, whah or just a random yelp.

He is healthy, happy and sleeping awesome. Trav' and I have obviously adjusted to him sleeping great, because this morning he woke up a couple hours early and when I pried myself outta bed I realized that he had been sleeping for 9 hours and I should quit complaining. After I fed him, he went back to bed, and I decided to go grocery shopping. I should do that more often, Winco at 6am is great. You can shop right from the pallets in the middle of the isle!

Back to the subject at hand, here's for all you number people:

Height: 25.5" --- 99%

Weight: 13#, 11oz. --- 87%

Head Circ: 16.5" --- 89%

And here is for the people that truly care:

I had him smiling and giggling, so I grabbed the camera and this is the "avoiding eye contact' look I got after I turned it on, whatever. We still like him, A LOT.

First Day of Spring

2010-03-20T13:48:00.000-07:00

Springtime in Eugene is my favorite time of the year. It's the payoff for all the dreary gray skies and rain of late-Autumn and Winter.

We hiked around Hendricks Park this morning to take in the warm sunshine and the beautiful scenery.

Taeg' and Karst' in a rare moment of introspection.

Local Gang

2010-03-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, when we were looking for a larger home we knew the area where we wanted to buy. It was mostly older homes, the schools are great, the neighborhoods are filled with older couples and well older families too, tons of trees, gorgeous views if you get high enough on the hills. We finally found a home for sale and have been enjoying our little slice of heaven.

Until...

These turkeys are crazy. Our neighbor's dogs are scared of them. They were in our backyard a few months ago and we counted 29. Yes 29 female turkeys in my little yard. Don't get me wrong I love a little wildlife (especially to eat) but 29 turkeys in one neighborhood seems a bit much. A couple of days ago, they were at the neighbors house across the street. I was having a hard time counting them all, but I know there were at least 50. This time the boys showed up. It was pretty cool to watch the guys strut their stuff, puff out their chest, and get their tail feathers all fanned out just to get a gal's attention.

But in the back of my mind, I just kept thinking... "If I lived a few more miles south so I was out of town, I wouldn't hesitate to invite my talkin' in his sleep brother-in-law over for a little turkey shoot out. Loser cleans the birds of course.

Happy St. Patty's Day!!!

2010-03-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

Karsten has been asking me what we do on St. Patrick's Day for the last 3 weeks. Taegan tried to explain to him that it was just a holiday that comes after Valentine's Day and before Easter but he wasn't having any of it. I told him it is a day that we can celebrate green, like the color you crazy hippies. I just don't have the heart to tell him it was originally for a Catholic St. but some how Ireland turn it into a green wearing, beer drinking, holiday and the rest of the free world has turned it into a weird thing about green and pinching. Taeg' decided she wasn't wearing green no matter what, because green is NOT pink! whatever. Karsten freaked out when I told him he could wear his Oregon jersey because it is green. He stated that he is saving it for the next Oregon game. I didn't have the heart to explain that the basketball team sucks and finally fired Kent and are not in the tourney and that most of the football team is in jail. Maybe we will start cheering on the baseball (boring) team!

Anyways this is what we did:

YUMMY, even without frosting!

The pros call it rainbow, I call 'em tie dye. I haven't heard a word of complaint about St. Patty's Day since I pulled these beauties out!

The kids

2010-03-02T20:24:00.000-08:00

For a guy who isn't even two months old, Lang' is a pretty easy-going fellow...

...that is, until his (overly) affectionate older sister draws near.

Grandma Shirlene visited this past weekend with her camera. We drove an hour to Haceta Head State Park, where Cape Creek meets the Pacific, and she snapped a few pictures. It's one of the kids' favorite places to visit.

The Bald and the Beautiful

2010-02-19T14:37:00.000-08:00

Question: Which Federation starship captain does Langdon resemble?

Did you really just say James T. Kirk?

[Facepalm]

Here, take a closer look.

Does this help?

If you said Captain Jean Luc Picard, 10,000 quatloos for you!

We also would have accepted "That guy who plays John Locke on Lost" -- even though it was only one episode and he was technically an admiral. [Aside: so is the "fake" John Locke a smoke monster or what? I'm so confused.]

I've always wondered why the cure for male pattern baldness apparently still eludes hair scientists of the 24th century.

What's New!

2010-01-28T09:57:00.000-08:00

Travis and I have agreed that the last 3 weeks have been a total fog. I am not even sure about what day of the week it is, but this morning I realized that a lot has happened in the last little bit and I have only been semiconscious to acknowledge it.

Here are the latest happenings at our house with pictures to prove some of it:
(They may not be in chronological order but I am pretty sure they did happen.)

1. I lost 35lbs in 48 hours, but I also discovered my love for oatmeal cookies shortly after. no pictures!

2. A large tree blew over during a wind storm and took out our fence and landed on the neighbors house. I guess that will happen when your roots are not even 12" under ground! Stupid Tree.

3. Karsten learned to shave (w/ his pretend razor) and frequently comments about how smooth his skin is. Thanks a lot Dave & Etta!

4. We are all adjusting to the lack of sleep and I have accepted that my kids may have bags or dark circles under their eyes for a few months.

5. Langdon slept 9 hours last night. Now only if I had gone to sleep when he did... curse you free trial of Netflix with previous seasons of 30 Rock. He is very proud of his accomplishment!

6. Next week will be the first primary activity, in 5 years, that I will get to drop off my kids and walk away and then return 30 minutes late! I was released from primary before Langdon arrived.

7. A quarter note! Seriously, why is this important to my eternal salvation! I have been called as the Relief Society chorister. I can hear my Mother now, "you will have wished you listened to me, Melissa, this is useful information. Everyone needs to know how to lead music"! I seriously have to practice leading the music, last week I practiced with the Mo-Tab and was ready to go, but they changed the song on me at the last minute. Meanies!

8. I left the cave and went grocery shopping at Costco and Walmart. We all (3 kids and a mom) survived and even got everything on the list. Which is more than I can say about the last time I went to Walmart.

9. We got a new vacuum and the kids and Travis are in love. Well, Langdon loves to sleep while it is on and Travis, Karsten and Taeg' love to vacuum... Heavenly!

Hey Anne Geddes! How we doin'? [Updated]

2010-01-11T18:18:00.000-08:00

So photographing infants appears simple enough. All you have to do is point and shoot, right? Sure, you can bring in some props and go a little nuts -- but there's really no need to oversell it. Babies are inherently cute.

So, uh, here are the results of our photo shoot today with Langdon. Bear in mind that we did not employ a professional photographer, or even an amateur one...or even one familiar with basic photography. We did these ourselves...

This one seems to say, "Are you gone yet?"

"Please go away"

"If annoying is hereditary, I hope I'm adopted."

"Zzzzzzzzzz"

Not bad for a first effort. Our subject seems a little difficult, but I've heard that's not uncommon in the modeling industry. I think we'll try some new poses and maybe some exotic locations, or something.

Thank you all for the well-wishes and support.
___________________________

UPDATE: As far as I know, Langdon has not seen Napoleon Dynamite -- nevertheless his "Uncle Rico" is quite good...

The new kid

2010-01-07T16:13:00.000-08:00

Every couple has their own style when it comes to naming children. With Karsten and Taegan, we selected names that were uncommon enough that people would initially respond with a furrowed brow, a long pause, followed by "Oh, that's...nice." As the children grew, however, their given names gained greater acceptance. At least one person has confessed to us that they silently disapproved of the names we selected initially, but grew to love the names as she increasingly associated them with our children. Their names simply fit them.

Once we learned that our new arrival would be male, we determined we would follow the same pattern as before. We looked to our recent past for inspiration.

This is Langdon Lake, situated in the Blue Mountains of northeast Oregon near where Melissa and I grew up. It's a private lake -- accessible only to the homeowners along its shore. One of those homeowners kindly granted us exclusive use of their lake house on our wedding night over a decade ago. It's a beautiful, peaceful place.

This is 17-year-old Ardythe Wilde. She came from Union, Oregon, where she knew a boy named Duane Wood. She made Duane want to be a better man. He eventually asked her to marry him. Her name changed to Ardythe Wood, but she still made people want to become better. I loved her and Duane long before I had any notion of marrying their youngest daughter. We think about Ardythe everyday. Her latest grandson may not have the opportunity to sit at her knee in this life -- but he'll carry her name wherever life takes him.

We join Karsten and Taegan in welcoming Langdon Wilde Stoddard into our family.

In the delivery room...

2010-01-06T07:37:00.000-08:00

IN DELIVERY ROOM, SETTLING IN FOR BIG DAY.

BABY REPORT

UPDATE: 11:55AM The boy has arrived! Mother and child are tired, but healthy. [UPDATE - 8lbs, 10oz, 22-1/2"]

UPDATE: 3:45PM - DAD GAVE THE BOY HIS FIRST BATH, WHILE MOM ENJOYED A LUXURIOUS HOT SHOWER.

LAST UPDATE: Karsten and Taegan finally met their little brother tonight. Karst' gave the boy a hearty hello, then reminded his mother that she could play football with him again. Taegan enjoyed stroking the infant's head amid squeals of "he's so cute!" Doc Hemsley inspected the boy this evening and indicated all is well (and that we'll likely be able to take him home tomorrow morning).

Exhausted, but excited at the arrival of #3

It's beginning to look a lot like...

2009-12-24T16:50:00.000-08:00

...well, nothing really. The fog rolled into Eugene yesterday and the weather man says it will stay through Christmas. Our kids have been praying all week that we'd get a white Christmas. Taeg' is convinced Christmas cannot occur unless there is snow on the ground -- so it's a matter of particular urgency for her.

With no prospect of Christmas snow, we decided to head out this morning and find some. We loaded up the truck with winter gear and snacks and set a course for the Cascades. The fog lifted just a few miles outside of Eugene, where the Winter sun actually produced a very pleasant day -- which is great...unless, like us, you're looking for snow. About 80 miles outside of town, just above 2000 feet, we finally discovered some decent snow. We rolled into a little snow park and built a few snow men, made a few snow angels, and tossed some snow balls at each other. The weather was a calm, sunny 36 degrees. After about an hour we packed everything back in the truck and headed back to our foggy home, where we're enjoying some frozen pizza and hot chocolate (with mini marshmallows, of course).

Happy Christmas!

2009-12-08T21:18:00.000-08:00

A couple of our local radio stations went to Christmas music non-stop well before Thanksgiving. While I concede that some good stuff remains out there, a lot of "popular" holiday music is pretty tired. I don't want to sound like a music snob, but c'mon, how many times can you listen to "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" before holiday elder abuse stops being funny?

Anyway, the kids and I put up the tree this evening. Karsten, who is no stranger to hyperbole, says it's the greatest tree he's ever seen. Taeg' can't stop approaching it and stroking it's branches and muttering "Christmas" in a Gollum-like fashion.

Melissa, who ~~frequently~~ occasionally complains she is being assaulted from the inside by our unborn son, put up some decorations too.

So back to the subject of Christmas music. I heard this one for the first time a couple years ago when the Tabernacle Choir performed it during their Christmas concert. Simply put, it's heavenly. I pull it up on my iPod pretty much every week -- I can't save it for just December. Give it a listen if you haven't heard it.

Turkey time!

2009-11-10T09:29:00.000-08:00

Since our neighborhood borders the "Outdoor Woods" -- it is not uncommon for wild game to visit our yard and partake of anything edible. The sidewalks outside our home get more traffic from deer, raccoons, and wild turkeys than from our human neighbors.

The turkeys in particular have come in handy in teaching my children some good habits. You see, I've convinced my children that turkeys are thieving shameless creatures. If Taegan leaves the front door open when she goes outside to play, I suggest to her that the turkeys will walk inside and eat all our food. This has never actually occurred, but it certainly seems theoretically possible. Convinced, Taeg' dutifully returns and closes the front door.

If Karsten leaves a toy outside on the lawn, I lament that a turkey will probably come and take Karst's toy back to his turkey lair. I concede that this is not a very plausible scenario. Nevertheless, Karst will quickly run outside and secure his toy. Nefarious turkey plot foiled!

My warnings of turkey villiany have apparently worked too well. Taeg' recently eyed a flock of turkeys loitering in the middle of our cul-de-sac. She determined they were up to no good and took it upon herself to mete out turkey justice.

Remarkably, she managed to scare them all away with only her Halloween PJ's and some fearsome bed head.

No shoes or beating sticks necessary.

Watch for Taeggy's new reality show on TLC -- What Not To Wear While Turkey Hunting.

Halloweenies

2009-10-30T19:11:00.000-07:00

Melissa and I are pretty much Hallo-weenies.

We enjoy the holiday very much -- especially the part where we steal our children's candy. But the whole costume thing really eludes us. Neither of us has made a sincere attempt at a Halloween costume since grade school (I was a baseball player, Melis' was a punk rocker).

We think it's really cool when married couples get creative, just like it's "really cool" when couples take dance lessons so they can do the foxtrot together at wedding receptions. We're impressed... but not enough to actually emulate them. [UPDATE: OK, Greg and Niki's interpretation of Mormon Tabernacle Choir members is hilarious and obviously worthy of emulation.]

That said, we feel obligated to let our kids join in the fun. To paraphrase Bronco Billy (aka Clint Eastwood), I think every kid in America ought to go trick or treating, at least up through the eighth grade.

If you ask Karst' who he is, he will probably be embarrassed for you and your ignorance of stock car racing. He's "Dale Jr." He wanted to be Jimmie Johnson, but apparently so did every other 5-year-old NASCAR fan -- the costume store was sold out. We're just glad Junior isn't sponsored by a beer company anymore. I'm trying to get Karst to memorize all his sponsors so he can work them seamlessly into his trick or treat door approach.

This is Bozo the Taeg'. Her nose honks...a lot. Grandma Ardythe crafted this outfit many years ago, and it has been worn proudly by several children and grandchildren. After Taeg' fills her pumpkin with candy, she intends to convert her clown hat into a reserve candy receptacle. Good thinking.

I wish my children much success in their candy gathering efforts -- especially since I will be confiscating all of their chocolate at the end of the evening (their mother will claim all of their Hot Tamales).

Good Hunting kids!

Stick'em Up!

2009-10-21T17:39:00.001-07:00

Taegan loves to 'dress up'. She has a style all her own, but I can see her brother's influence in this outfit!

Ice Cream shirt and pants- $0 (Grandma).
Hat- $0 (made by Aunt Shelly).
Glasses- $0 (they have Grandma all over them).
Handgun- $0 (gotta loves cousins).
Total cost of outfit and accessories= $0.00 (unless you count the undies- I hope she has some on)!

I think she has a future in one of those fashion reality TV shows... as the host of course!

I am sure she is looking forward to playing dress up with her newest cousin.

Congratulations, Shelly and Eric. Their daughter, Avery, was born on ~~Friday~~ Tuesday morning. When I saw Avery's hair, I immediately thought of Taegan so I had to look back at some baby pictures. They are definitely related. Avery is the top photo.

All Good things

2009-10-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

must come to an end.

Or so it seems today. For the last couple months, I have given into temptation and have taken a nap in the afternoon while my kids are resting. My current physical condition has been my justification. I have never been a napper. If I nap, I am doomed at bedtime. My 6ish months of napping is catching up with me. I get to sleep but only to wake up at 1am totally wake and ready to go. I tried staying up later... the next morning, my kids are getting me outta bed and I don't feel so rested. So the naps are ending today (ok, not all the naps... Sunday naps are staying, moderation in all things after all)!

As of now, my kids are sleeping on different floors of the house. I love the quiet but what should I do with myself that will keep me awake? The house is clean, the laundry is done! If someone suggests cooking/baking, I will personally go to your house and slash all your tires, maybe even your neighbor's as well! I can't finish the crown molding... too noisy plus I just painted it and now I am waiting for it to dry. I have researched and looked at pictures of what I would like to do with our current annoying computer 'closet' and upstairs. I am pretty sure I know what to do with the all the kids rooms. I have already purchased something on-line! The server at work is down, so I can't even get paid to work! Maybe one of my sisters should move across the street so I can help them with something. Hmm...

Must quietly stay awake!

I think the baby is even sleeping...

Happy Birthday Taeg'

2009-09-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

Taegan met me on the stairs as I returned home from work this evening. "I'm the birthday girl!" she beamed. This was her subtle hint that it was time to get the party started. After a sumptuous dinner of pineapple cheeseburgers -- a family favorite -- the birthday girl received her specially requested birthday cupcakes.

Her family promptly butchered her birthday serenade. The Von Trapp's we are not.

After the food and the presents, the festivities began to wind down. Taeg' retired to a quiet corner of the house and indulged in her favorite intellectual pursuits -- crayons, stickers, and coloring books.

She's a bright and clever girl that often says things, perhaps unwittingly, that make her parents bust up laughing. Anyone who spends more than a moment with her will know what we mean. We often forget that her high-pitched voice and untamed curls have only been around 3 years. We love her very much, and look forward to seeing what she comes up with next.

The other butte

2009-09-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

You may remember our grueling ascent to the top of Eugene's Spencer Butte last April. It was a fun climb, but sometimes we find ourselves in the mood for nice views without any of the the accompanying gruel. That's when we head for Eugene's other butte -- Skinner Butte -- just a couple miles to the north.

There are two ways to reach the top of Skinner. The first way involves climbing a sheer basalt cliff.

We generally don't take this way, because...um, I've grown really fond of staying alive. This route is well-suited for extreme sports fanatics who aren't the primary means of support for two (soon to be three) young children. I thought about telling these guys -- just as a courtesy -- about the paved road on the other side of the butte that leads all the way to the top. But then I considered the possibility that the climber dudes would get really excited by this revelation and end up losing their pinkie-finger hold on the rock face. Best case scenario: they fall to their deaths. Worst case: they fall to their deaths on me. My day would be ruined.

I said nothing and we continued our short drive to the top.

Here we are seated on a stone of some obscure historic significance near the butte's highest point. Apparently when Eugene Skinner was planning his new town in the late-1850's, this stone represented where main street would be. That sounds really cool, except there has never been any street up here, let alone a main street. Seriously, I read the inscription twice and I still can't figure out what our city's Founding Father was trying to do with this rock. I can only guess he intended to push the rock down the butte and leave it next to the real Main Street, but then got distracted by something else.

We let Karst' handle the camera for awhile. Taeg' was in charge of wardrobe.

Looking south from Skinner Butte Park, Taeg' got a wide-view perspective of downtown Eugene with Spencer Butte in the background.

In less than one hour, we were able to enjoy scenic vistas and a historic memorial to impractical road construction. No muss, no fuss. We were careful not to distract the rock climbers on the way home.

The perfect trade

2009-09-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

Every so often Travis' mother will let me trade her for some work. This is the most recent.

She had a 'slab' of wood sitting in her garage for a few years hoping it would magically turn into a bench. I guess she finally got desperate and called. All I had to do was build it, Dave was the one that had the difficult job of making it look good with paint. I love the smell of cedar, I could have sniffed that bench all day.

While I was relaxing at the 'day spa' my kids got to spend some quality time with Grandma! I guess it was a win-win.

Karsten doing what boys do best, shooting and destroying stuff!

Taegan bathing under a mushroom!

Going out

2009-09-08T14:01:00.000-07:00

Do not go grocery shopping...

hungry,
pregnant & hungry,
tired, pregnant & hungry,
with kids, tired, pregnant & hungry,
at Walmart, with kids, tired, pregnant & hungry,
at 10:45am, at Walmart, with kids, tired, pregnant & hungry...

Just go to McDonalds, it is better for your health.

WILDE

2009-09-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

My 2 year old loves HOT TAMALES. Well who wouldn't (except her wussy Dad and brother). Grandma Wood has got to be proud. I remember eating a lot of Cinnamon Bears, Hot Tamales, Red Hots, and String Cheese driving all around the country to watch my sibling's sporting events. She even sent me some in a care package when I was in Australia. So in honor of my Mom, I have decided to eat Hot Tamales more often. Plus, this next kid kicks like crazy when I eat them, I can only assume that it is because he enjoys them as well.

p.s. has anyone seen my freak'n camera?!?!

Coming January 2010...

2009-08-27T18:50:00.000-07:00

So all those beautiful girl names we were coming up with will have to go back on the shelf. We found out this morning that our new addition will be decidedly male. Taeg' was really hoping for a little sister, but seemed to take the news in stride. Karst', on the other hand, is overjoyed at the prospect of a younger brother. The kids have presented their naming suggestions.

Karsten came up with "Brick."

Taeg' thought for a moment and then offered up "Bunny Rabbit."

Hmmm...let's put it to a vote.

What shall we name the boy?
List alternatives (please!) in the comments section

Happy Happy Birthday!

2009-08-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

[Sarcasm ON]

One of my wife's most favorite things in the whole world, besides pink taffeta evening gowns, is public acknowledgment of her birthday.

You've got syrupy sweet birthday tributes? Melissa can't get enough of them, so please leave some in the comment section.

Here's some Melissa trivia: Who does she secretly wish would show up unannounced at our house and sing "Happy Birthday to you..."?

Celine Dion? Nope.

Rick Astley? Surprisingly, no.

These dudes? No, they're actually still locked in my mother's basement.

The answer?

Red Robin waiters. Melissa could listen to their unique brand of awesomeness ALL DAY.

We've noticed that Taeg's flair has shown some promise; perhaps someday she'll be good enough to perform at Red Robin. Ooh. We wish upon a star.

[Sarcasm OFF]

Happy Birthday Dearest!

retaining walls for dummies

2009-08-17T11:26:00.000-07:00

A few years ago we moved into our fixer upper. We have remodeled a lot of the inside (with bathrooms in the near future) but have decided to switch our focus to the outside... probably due to the warm weather. When we bought the house we didn't hate the yard but saw a small need for a change to better suit our young family. Since moving in, we have realized that the current 30yr old retaining wall and fence do not stand a chance against our 2yr old or 5 yr old, I am tired of patching them. I thought, "we can just build a new fence and retaining wall, lay some sod, build a deck and then we are good to go.. all for under $3k"!

I have to admit that my interest or talents are not in the yard, just ask Travis about the tree that I 'pruned' by the front door. He is still having nightmares about it. Travis has great taste/imagination and loves to think and plan what he would do if funds were unlimited, and I am the the one that brings him back to reality of a budget and the fact that he will be doing the work and we reach a compromise. We always start our projects by calling a professional or two and getting estimates, then realizing that we can do it better for less than a 1/3 of their price, but it will be very inconvenient for us for awhile.

Back to the yard. I have had 4 pros come in and look at my property. The 1st, basically told me to leave it and patch what is broken. The 2nd quoted only half the retaining wall and told me the rest wouldn't be worth the $... $7k for half the wall. The 3rd, just told me $12k for the retaining wall but I would need to do the excavating. The 4th is still coming in but it is not promising.

We are not staying in this house forever and we WILL sell this place for a large profit when we leave. I cannot justify $12k for a retaining wall, what about my deck, sod and fence? Does everyone think that just because I live in the South Hills I will roll over and just start throwing money around?

I am peeved. Screw the contractor, I can follow plans that my husband or friends draw on napkins. This can not be that complicated. I am freak'n 5 months pregnant with a cold that makes my head feel like it will explode, but if I need to move a thousand 72# blocks to fix my yard then we will find a way to do it, within our budget, and it will look better than any of the freak'n brochures or business cards that are on my desk.

Excuse me while I go measure my yard, call the local rental company about a Kubota, and look at airline tickets so I can get my nieces/nephews over here for a few weeks (I think am starting realize why my parents loved having a large family... more gorillas for projects). I believe that I am just a regular moron, so it can't be that difficult!

So the next time you see me, I will definitely have a large belly (hopefully only until the first week of January) but I might have some frigg'n huge quads and biceps to match, if I remain ticked off long enough.

Trav's college football (fashion) preview

2009-08-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

With the start of the college football season just weeks away, I'm sure everyone is clicking the refresh button on our blog in anticipation of my indispensable analysis. OK, maybe not. But I do want to comment on this...

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure the Ducks have "the firepower to shake up the BCS" -- but the SI cover story should really be titled: "How SWEET are the Ducks New Unies?!"

There are those who say, "Uniforms don't matter, winning is what really matters." And there are still others who say, "Winning doesn't matter, academic achievement in the classroom is what really matters." I have no doubt these uniforms will increase both winning and academic achievement. They are that sweet.

When the team isn't feeling very monochromatic, there's a plethera of other color and helmet combinations to choose from. The Ducks' math skills will improve just by figuring out how much a "plethera" really is. I'm bad at math, so I'll just guess "one hundred million."

Speaking of feeling monochromatic, the Ducks' opponent on September 3rd got new uniforms too.

Pretty subtle, huh. Maybe, the BSU marching band will play Eifle 65's original Italian megahit "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" and the Blue Man Group can perform at halftime.

When it comes to blue, these fellas wear it best...

Go Ducks/Cougs!

P.S. - tell me what you think about Oregon's new threads.

UPDATE

(Un)Sound Financial Advice

2009-08-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

Recently, my children presented me with the following proposal: in exchange for being "good" all day, they would each receive a shiny penny. They no longer wished to be good for nothing. I agreed to their terms.

Before long, their business plan paid off and they quickly accumulated several pennies. When Taeg' showed me her profits, I suggested that she find a safe place to keep her money. "Under the cushions!" she beamed, quickly lifting up a seat cushion on the living room sofa and carefully depositing her coins. I tried to explain that the interest her money would accrue under the seat cushion would be negligible. But 2-year-old's don't care about compound interest -- they just want to keep their assets liquid and readily accessible.

Today I learned where the kids have directed their revenue stream -- salt water taffy.

I accompanied them to the candy store during my lunch hour. I handed Karst' a basket and told them they had sufficient funds for 8 taffies. After some deliberation, they reached their quota. The boy tentatively approached the cashier by himself and carefully handed over his basket of goods. The cashier rang up his total -- .96¢ -- whereupon Karst' silently reached into his pocket and emptied the contents onto the counter. Four quarters and a dime. Upon receiving his taffies and his change, Karst' glanced at the coins and smiled. "Yes! I'm rich again!"

In these economically uncertain times, it's nice to know that my children are so financially savvy.

SEcrEt MEsSaGe.

2009-08-04T09:35:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago, Primary was centered around family night and how to make them better. I successfully avoided my other responsibilities and was able to sit in the back and listen to parts of the lesson. I realized that our family nights need some help and I remembered a crafty project that I have successfully put off for YEARS.

I am proud to say, I love spray paint, I had this piece of wood sitting in the garage, I didn't need a power tool, and vinyl lettering will remain tacky after years of sitting curled up on a shelf.

Yes, I do realize that the 'things' representing the individuals in the family are lame but in my defense, I could not find what I really wanted so I just decided on making do until I find/make what I want.

We have continued with a tradition in my family, the person that is conducting is in charge of picking the pray'er' for every meal or anytime we feel the need to give thanks as a family during that week. I was the first person in charge so no biggy. Taegan just gave up her rights last night and lets just say it was a long week of hearing... "she never picks me"....."me, me, me, me"..."um, um, um, I pick, um, um, um, I pick.." We will see how this week goes, Karsten is the school bus!

I think the board has been a helpful reminder for us to not only remember who does what but also to put some time into our family night duties! There are probably halos on our heads right now.

We are over it... really!

2009-08-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

The last post was about our DINK days, even though it has taken us over 2 weeks to post anything else, it is not because we are still reminiscing. Trust me, I can't even remember what I ate for dinner last night let alone something that happened years ago. Karsten had a great birthday and here are some pictures to prove it.

Karsten chose cupcakes so he could decorate them, hence the 16lbs of sprinkles in the middle of each cake!

Grandma & Grandpa Stoddard gave him a helmet that 'transforms' his voice into a robots'. Because it is such a pleasing sound, we will be bringing it to their house for the next visit so they can enjoy it as well!

And finally, I do not believe there is a home video that was made in the last month with better quality. I mean really, a dark orange shaky picture and plus I got to edit HTML code just to get it to work... Hollywood here I come.

No, I can not sing. I am over it and you should be too!

5 Years

2009-07-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

Tonight marks the 5-year anniversary of the end of Travis and Melissa's carefree DINK lifestyle (Dual-Income, No-Kids). It seems so long ago now. Some evenings, right after the kids have been tucked into bed for the second or third time, we collapse on the sofa together in exhaustion and reminisce about our DINK days. As DINK's we could go anywhere, anytime, on a whim. We could attend church wearing clothes that were dry-clean only and actually listen to the message being delivered from the pulpit. Long car rides represented opportunities for uninterrupted conversation and witty banter.

Five years ago tonight, that all ended. Because early the next morning...this guy arrived.

While Karst's arrival totally crimped our style, we cannot imagine a happy life without him. He's a kind-hearted, quick-witted kid who makes his parents proud, and is adored by his rambunctious younger sister.

Melis' and I will hold a brief memorial service tonight for the end of our DINK-dom. Tomorrow, however, we plan a much bigger celebration honoring our fair-haired boy's 5th birthday. We enjoyed our life before children, but parenthood has turned out to be way more exciting.

Happy Birthday Karsten!

swimming

2009-07-15T19:17:00.001-07:00

How do swim goggles give a 4 year old all the confidence in the world?

For some reason Karsten cannot go under water without them. Taegan fills them with water and then puts them on! Maybe Nike was right all along. It really is the equipment (just don't tell them I paid $1 for them... wait go ahead they think a $1 is a lot of money)!