Crentist

Travis has been politely telling me that it is my turn to do this. So here goes.

I went to the Crentist today. Halfway through my appointment I remember why it had been so long since I have been to one. I look to the left and there is a bunch of tools that resemble something from a torture scene in a horror movie, straight ahead of me the sun is shining in my face so I can't even see and to the right is the crestist with what feels like her whole arm inside my mouth all the while talking in what seems to be a foreign language, "b11, 4, 5, 6 oiudf%%#$%, gum, tooth, OUUOWER ^%#$%". When it is all done, she smiles and then talks about flossing and gums and how they are directly linked to cardio vascular health. I finally ask for the bottom line.

Crentist: You have a cavity and I will need to see you back, one of your teeth in the back section, row 48, seat 7 has a major crack in it and I will need to investigate how deep but first I want to fix the filling.

Me: OK, Do I need to be worried about the cracked tooth?

Crentist: I am not as worried about it as much as the cavity; also you are grinding your teeth really bad. Large portions of your teeth in section 97, row 17, seats 4, 5,6 7,8 8,9 5,4 3,3 look like you are either biting you food very hard or you have a serious grinding problem.

Me: What causes grinding? How do I know when I am doing it? And how do I stop it?

Crentist: You have not been doing it your whole life; this is fairly recent grinding, like not even a couple years old. Reduce your stress or you are going to need a mouth guard.

Me: What the crap? Ok I didn’t say that aloud.

I just asked about reducing stress, she suggested Yoga, stretching, deep breathing.......

Am I stressed? Maybe I have just gotten used to the feeling of tension in my body, and grinding is my way of an outlet. Which would explain why my teeth ache in the morning and I have been having some serious headaches. I have not slept through the night since Taeg was born and I wish I could blame her but I cannot. Maybe I should take up kickboxing instead of Volleyball and teeth grinding.

Bottom Line: I shouldn't go to the Crentist, I never feel good afterward, I just feel stressed.
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Travis adds: Wii Fit -- it's good for your teeth!

Travis later adds: I added a link to explain Melissa's "Crentist" reference -- we initially assumed everyone else in the world watches The Office every week like us.