Brian Regan and the Zoo

This past weekend the Stoddard family gathered in Portland to see Brian Regan perform at the Schnitzer. For those who haven't seen or heard of Brian, he's a stand-up comic with a gift for making hysterical observations about mundane things, like the cooking instructions on a box of Pop Tarts...


It was a good show. The thing we enjoy most about Brian is that he doesn't work blue -- his act is completely family-oriented. In fact, we saw quite a few parents in attendance with their teenage children.

The next morning we gathered at the Oregon Zoo. We saw the young elephant I've mentioned before - the zoo rejected my proposed names and went with "Samudra" or "Sam" for short. His mother no longer wants to kill him, which is nice.

As we observed several primate species, the kids' most common inquiry was why the mandrils' butts are purple. That particular point was not addressed in any zoo literature, so I declared that the mandrils simply think purple butts are cool. I'm sure Jane Goodall would back me up on that one.

Melis' skillfully herded children as they petted the goats.

Taeg' was enthralled by the hippos. Her father could not get Moto Moto's "I like em chunky" song out of his head. Hippos are fat, there's just no nice way to say it.

We took a ride on the zoo steam train together. Uncle Ty, cousin Lydia, and Aunt Shelly sat next to us. The kids had been looking forward to this part all week, but after about 15 minutes (of the 35-minute ride) the kids started to look pretty bored. Maybe that's why I haven't taken the zoo steam train ride since I was Taeg's age.

After several hours of exotic animals and train rides, Taeg' took her favorite perch atop her father's shoulders -- which causes her father to grow a few more gray hairs for some reason. In any event, we had a lot of fun.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go figure out how to cook a Pop Tart.

To Bad, Happy Fat!

While it's certainly not quite up there with Holy Week, we've reached the conclusion of a special week for me -- if not for the entire civilized world. This evening we conclude a week of celebration encompassing my birthday, our wedding anniversary, and Father's Day. By tradition, Melissa and the kids celebrate my awesomeness and attractiveness in song and dance, as well as by watching the final round of the U.S. Open golf tournament with me. Thanks to the rain at Bethpage Black, our traditional festivities will continue tomorrow. Karsten and his cohorts in primary sang a couple of very nice father songs in sacrament meeting this morning. As far as the dancing, Karsten informed us yesterday that his new Sunday shoes permit him to tap dance -- which he frequently demonstrates with much gusto.

Melissa prepared a delicious Father's Day dinner of strawberry crepes with fresh berries, along with a yummy trifle for dessert.


Karsten also presented me with a handwritten card.

Translation: "I [heart] U" "To: Bad" "Happy Fat" "Karsten"

When I read the card aloud, 4-year old Karst let out a loud belly laugh -- which makes me wonder if his word choice was intentional.

In any event, I too wish Happy Fat to all Bads!

Final Product

April sent me a pic of the final product. I knew she would make it look good, she is very trendy and clever!

I should have built it 4' wider to accommodate the tiny speakers!

Happy Anniversary to Us.

Have Travis and I reached a point of maturity where we no longer need frivolous gifts to celebrate our blissful marriage?


NAY! We just buy original gifts. Travis said a few days ago that he once thought that for our 10th anniversary he would buy me a wicked huge diamond with a whole cut into it for my finger (I may be exaggerating slightly). But instead we purchased a 'cheater' pump. Most couples would never dream of such a super gift together, but when we moved on the hill and turned the water on; 28psi was not cutting the mustard, literally. We now enjoy 70psi of water pressure so I can rinse the shampoo out and Travis can... well do whatever boys do in the shower... eat donuts! Just don't tell the neighborhood, because they will be knocking on our door in the morning to use this thing once they know it is just next door.

It is probably good that I didn't get a wicked huge ring, because I would have to keep taking it off while I work in the garage. This was my most recent project for a friend who worked her butt off in my yard in exchange. I once again got the better end of the deal, but also came to the conclusion that I need to purchase a dust collection system for the garage or I just may develop black lung. It was fun to build and very big. It would make a nice storage area for my ring some day.


I think they are going to paint it black. Once it gets some finish on it, I think it will look a gabillion times better. I am pretty sure it will fit at least a 50" TV (or 12 cheater pumps).


Travis once again worked his magic on the internet and found us a heating element for our dryer at 1/2 the cost the local folks wanted. The downside, 5 days without a dryer and 2 grubby kids that made cupcakes for their Dad's B-day.


The UPS guy just knocked on my door, I gotta go install the heating element so I don't have to explain to Karsten tomorrow why swim shorts make good underwear when the others are not dry enough to wear yet!

Oregon Coast 2009

This past weekend, the Stoddard clan enjoyed our annual gathering at Otter Crest. The weather was downright balmy by Oregon coast standards -- calm and sunny with temps in the high-60's. We wasted no time getting down to the beach to see what low tide had revealed.

Grandma, the budding photographer, snapped several million photos with her new fancy camera. Grandpa focused on keeping the grandkids from falling into the kelp-filled tidal pools.

Mom and Taeg' went off alone trying to find something cool, like a discarded Rick Astley album. No luck. Apparently, nobody's gonna give Rick up. They were very let down.

Karsten, Grandpa, and I journeyed way out to the perilous edge of the tidal flats and found dozens of starfish. Lesser men tried to follow our route, but they slipped on the kelp and fell into the sea...along with their expensive digital cameras and turned back (true story!).

We visited the Oregon Aquarium in Newport. Taeg' enjoyed the otters the best -- unless you consider the inanimate creatures, in which case she enjoyed the concrete dolphins best.

The highlight for me, however, was the fascinating documentary about luminescent bacteria found inside deep sea organisms. Just look at the faces of my mother and Melissa -- it's obvious they found the 26-minute video presentation just as spellbinding as I did.


Despite their brief indulgence of a nature documentary devotee, we all had a good time. We're already looking forward to next year.